partners depression

[dannycallaghan]

My partner thinks i dont understand her problems and am not supportive enough i would like to hear from some other people on ways i can improve my understanding so that i can become more supportive.

this is a brief description of her health probs.

We have had an up and down relationship from day one we have both abused one anothers trust and disrespected one another which although neither of us has been unfaithful makes trust an issue. Latley however things have been bad. My partner had a m/c three months ago, she is still suffering from heavy bleeding and anaemia. we have had a scan after the m/c to show the baby has gone. We already have a son of ten months. Laura (my partner) is also on anti depressants as she had post natal depression. she is really tired at the moment and finds each day a struggle.

I confess to not always being there as much as i should have through the first pregnancy and have been guilty of being selfish when she needed me most i am now trying to rectify this!!

I am taking care of our son feeding clothing bathing etc day to day as well as letting my partner sleep as often as possible. When she does go to work i try to have dinner ready for her and a bath run. I bring her hot water bottle to help ease the pain and constantly ask if there is anything i can do to make things easier.

I find it hard to understand that a man should just know what to do without being asked?? surely if i ask if there is anything i can do is it not simple to reply "yes darling could you please.........?

can anyone help me to be more understanding and supportive?

many thanks

Danny

[Saffron]

Hi Danny and welcome.

Your partner is grieving. She is looking at your 10 month old child, and wondering what the other baby would have been like. She needs time.

It sounds as though you are doing everything you can to help her, so well done to you. But her baby died, and she is grieving. I know that it was your baby too, but maybe Laura feels she did domething wrong to cause the baby to die in her womb.

You are clearly concerned for her, and are trying to do the best you can. All I can say, is well done, you are doing brilliantly, and keep going. Grief is a terrible emotion, and it will take time for her to heal. But she will heal.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Saffron