difference in sex drives

[Unregistered]

I have seen posts here about wives who are frustrated with the lack of sex and the fact their husbands do not want sex as much as they do. Well with me it’s the other way. I have been married nearly 16 years and frankly sex over the last 5 years has been as scarce as the successes in British sporting achievements. I am 42 and my wife is 37 I can count on my 2 hand the number of times we have had sex and still have fingers spare. I have spoken to her about it and she says it just not that important to her, and she'd rather go to bed and read or sleep. She has even joked when seeing articles in magazines that seems similar to ours by saying have you been writing to the papers again? In one article the advice was to speak to Relate. When I mentioned this she just dismissed it by saying there is not problem but if I think there is then the problem is with me. I have thought about leaving but that means leaving the kids. There lies another story but not for this post. Things are that bad that even the kids have commented about the fact I never smile, trouble is I can't really turn around and say "well would you be happy if all you were to your partner was someone who shared the house and paid for every thing". But that’s how I feel.

[joanneemma35]

understand you totally

well im female and have the same problem.i have done what has been advised to "talk about it"my husband has wrote letters of appology asking me not to leave him,he does want sex with me.he does fancy me etc etc........so we have sex...im happy then back to same old no sex or kissing up to a month till again i have a strop(major).I also dont feel happy am always snappy with him because i have cried,i have shouted,i have threatened divorce and always i get the same"i love you,i fancy you blah blah"
when we do have sex i feel ive badgered for it so its a need thing now rather than love.Its quick as he hasnt done it for long so its not great sex.
we do have teenagers and an 11 month baby which he mainly looks after as after the birth my pelvis was damaged so i understand he gets tired.
i have gone down the self blame route and think its me..........to the point ive offerd him to go else where,he swears is only me he wants,but its all well to say this but hes not showing that.
i thought it was because we were rowing....so i layed off.everyone remarked how well we were getting on..........still no sex.we ended up rowing because im so flaming frustrated.
i feel guilty to mastubate as its the closeness and desire to be desired off my husband i crave.
i have made an effort,gone to the hairdressers bought underwear...nothing.
my husband cares fully for my daughter till my physio is finished so i know his whereabouts 24/7 so i KNOW he isnt having an affair.
I keep saying i will leave to shock him into trying harder but now i feel i shouldnt have to shock him into having sex with me--im his wife,and his letters are so full of ove i am so so so confused and unhappy.
i sleep night after night with a man i want more than anything to show me fully.
what can i do?

[diana_holbourn]

See if this helps

See if parts of this help at all: Things a Person Who Wants More Sex Can Do to Entice Their Husband or Wife to Want More, and Talking About Sex
Or any of this: Why Sex with Your Husband or Wife is Important for the Marriage, Some Causes of Low Sexual Desire, and Things That Can Boost Sexual Desire.