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Married a year and it could already be over - Help!

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  • #16
    It&#39;s quite funny because in my last post I said that now my wife has done her exams she can deal with the next important thing, her marriage ....... but I was so wrong. She came around last night and we had a chat. In a nutshell she told me that she has felt that ever since we got married the baby topic has consumed everything. This is odd because it was my wife who said to wait a year etc. and then agreed to start trying in October, which we did (thank God she didn&#39;t fall pregnant). She bought a couple of baby books, sent me emails about names that she likes so I trust you can appreciate I have been going along thinking this is something she wanted too ........ until she was offered that job for next September. She also told me that she feels I have just accepted &#39;married life&#39; and I no longer ask her to make an effort with herself (not that I ever used to&#33 and she feels that she dresses like a 33 year old and I am happy for her to do so. She also told me that she wants to live and work abroad and if she doesn&#39;t do it then it is something she will regret. I said to her that I wanted to go and check our marriage certificate because I am sure there were two of us at that Church 15 months a go. The silly thing is that at the beginning of October we went and looked at a house (at her instigation&#33 so if she had all of these aspirations then why go and do something like look at a house if she wants to move abroad. The best thing then came. My wife is so concerned about sorting her marriage out that she has booked a weekend trip this coming weekend to Scotland with a friend from work&#33; Also, throughout the course of this week and next, she has got all of these Christmas parties so it would seem she has no intention to come home, but she did say that she wants to see me at some point. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/glare.gif[/img]

    I feel it is an insult that my wife thinks I am stupid. In my eyes it is clear that she stayed away to concentrate on her studies. She has now done this and I feel as though she has sat at her mum and dad&#39;s thinking up pathetic excuses to mask what she has done and said what she has said to me.

    I am coming to the conclusion that my wife maybe going through an early mid-life crisis, I think she is confused and perhaps even needs help, but yesterday&#39;s conversation and everything else is making my decision so much easier for me. She is clearly someone who will only do what she wants to do and I don&#39;t really think I can spend the rest of my life with someone like that. I also think she needs to grow up and her &#39;walkover&#39; parents need to drum up the courage to tell her that she needs to sort her marriage out and send her home.

    I can&#39;t see much else happening this side of Christmas so I am off to put some decorations up, enjoy Christmas with those who mean the most to me and then sort my life out once and for all in the new year. The silly thing is that if I told my wife I was leaving her I think she would be happy with that .... Shame&#33;

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    • #17
      Well now I know where I stand. After weeks of her messing me around my wife very kindly decided to tell me four days before Christmas that she thinks we should break up. This morning she has now told me that she wants to get together to discuss a divorce. Whilst I now know what the situation is I kind of thought I could then get on with my life and rebuild but I have now found myself trying to get over the next hurdle which is rejection. I have found this very difficult but as each day goes by things are slowly getting easier and easier. As they say, time is a healer.

      I just want to get things sorted as quickly as possible so I can put the last five years behind me and find my true Miss Right, someone who is everything that my wife is not. I do feel as though the battle is only about to begin and whilst my wife has told me that she would like to sort things out as amicably as possible, many people have told me a divorce is never amicable. There are just so many things to sort out and I really don&#39;t know where to start. The one good things is that I have got a great family and set of friends behind me who have very kindly been there during this difficult time for me.

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      • #18
        It&#39;s a pity things have turned out this way for you. I hope things get better for you in the future.
        My self-help articles on problems ranging from depression and phobias to marriage difficulties, to looking after children and teenagers, to addictions and destructive behaviours like anorexia, to bullying, to losing weight, to debating skills: http://broadcaster.org.uk/self-help
        And my article: How to Avoid Falling for Many False Claims or Fears of the Supernatural

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        • #19
          hi,
          im sharon from malaysia.

          try to buy nice cute baby books and hang baby posters in ur room.
          she might have the desire then.
          just a suggestion.
          take care.
          bye

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          • #20
            dear neil what can i say you are well rid of her she has played mind games and insulted you hurt you and made you suffer what a selfish women you are better off on your own good luck x

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