I have been with my wife for over 12 years married for 8 of these. We have 3 lovely children with the youngest 10 months old.
I havent felt settled in the marriage for the past 3-6 months and in my way have prompted changes that I thought could inject some of what I thought was missing. So we have moved house and I am about to start a job that will allow me more time at home. But at the moment all I do is use my existing job as an imotional crutch to he point I dont enjoy coming home.
I know I love my wife and our 3 children but I just feel empty inside like there is something missing or lost.
The other day we had a leaving do for a couple of work colleagues and I was so sad sitting at the table it felt like the last supper. There have been so many changes at work and the heart has been ripped out of the place. Anyway I confess that I flirt at work but nothing more than that it is often returned but I have never felt the urge, either because I dont really find the person sexually attractive or because they are out of my league. More importantly I havent done anything because I felt that my marriage was strong.
However, back to the night out I spent the whole night with someone who I had flirted with and who fell into the category of being out of my league, we kissed and cuddled and that was it. All our workmates were suprised but had felt that in the 4 years we had flirted at work that we would make a great couple. Obviously she feels the same way as I do but I kow that me wanting her is wrong and that once would not be enough. But you know when you have something in the palm of your hand and you just cant bear to let it go? well thats me.
So, everyone says my conscience should be clear-nothing happened, but I wanted it to oh how I wanted it to. I am confused because this is a new experience for me I feel guilty as sin, like I peeked into Pandora's box and was tainted.
So where am I at present. I have a work colleague who is confused and wants to meet. I know I am falling in love with her, I know I love my wife. Tomorrow my mother-in-law is coming to look after the children so that I can talk to my wife, and all I want to do is leave home to have time out-how selfish is that? My fears are that I wont want to come back or my wife will assume I have been unfaithful and will never forgive me anyway.
Advice, I need advice.
I havent felt settled in the marriage for the past 3-6 months and in my way have prompted changes that I thought could inject some of what I thought was missing. So we have moved house and I am about to start a job that will allow me more time at home. But at the moment all I do is use my existing job as an imotional crutch to he point I dont enjoy coming home.
I know I love my wife and our 3 children but I just feel empty inside like there is something missing or lost.
The other day we had a leaving do for a couple of work colleagues and I was so sad sitting at the table it felt like the last supper. There have been so many changes at work and the heart has been ripped out of the place. Anyway I confess that I flirt at work but nothing more than that it is often returned but I have never felt the urge, either because I dont really find the person sexually attractive or because they are out of my league. More importantly I havent done anything because I felt that my marriage was strong.
However, back to the night out I spent the whole night with someone who I had flirted with and who fell into the category of being out of my league, we kissed and cuddled and that was it. All our workmates were suprised but had felt that in the 4 years we had flirted at work that we would make a great couple. Obviously she feels the same way as I do but I kow that me wanting her is wrong and that once would not be enough. But you know when you have something in the palm of your hand and you just cant bear to let it go? well thats me.
So, everyone says my conscience should be clear-nothing happened, but I wanted it to oh how I wanted it to. I am confused because this is a new experience for me I feel guilty as sin, like I peeked into Pandora's box and was tainted.
So where am I at present. I have a work colleague who is confused and wants to meet. I know I am falling in love with her, I know I love my wife. Tomorrow my mother-in-law is coming to look after the children so that I can talk to my wife, and all I want to do is leave home to have time out-how selfish is that? My fears are that I wont want to come back or my wife will assume I have been unfaithful and will never forgive me anyway.
Advice, I need advice.
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