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Only a month till Christmas
Should I be happy? Should I be sad ?
What will Christmas be like this year?
I’ll try, but I can’t promise to fill it with cheer.
You'll have to forgive me if my eyes fill with tears.
You hold your head in the sand, pretending you don’t understand but in the end we both
want the answers no-one can give.
( What would it be like, what would be my life, without you?)
Plod was mean… I mean; a bail-date just after new-year’s eve!
Didn’t he know it means you’ll have to rush off and leave ?
Wouldn’t’ it have been better before we opened our presents –
( which we’re now holding with tender resplendence)
Knowing that you’d have , and we’d have you, at least another 6 weeks?
That Christmas not yet a year ago , I remember it well (how could I forget???)
Not the wondrous , joyful, hospitable Christmas of years ago, but one isolated, intimate hell.
We survived.
So this year I surprise myself,
I’ve already sprayed walnuts silver and glitter on my otherwise boring Christmas cards and cut out gift tabs out of all the old ones .
I’ve bought, cut up, weighed and measured the ingredients for the cake and left it to sake (e-hum, soak) so all the currants and other bits fatten up (with rum
) .
I haven’t yet ordered, but soon will, a turkey, or goose or chicken or soy burgers ( I haven’t decided yet) and looking forward to who’s going to come ….
And do you know… whereas in previous years I would go through the motions with stale routine
I’m aware of looking forward to Christmas in a fragile (almost green) but elated way -
to celebrating with you , this happening long ago, which started with these words , ….
‘Do not be afraid’
Should I be happy? Should I be sad ?
What will Christmas be like this year?
I’ll try, but I can’t promise to fill it with cheer.
You'll have to forgive me if my eyes fill with tears.
You hold your head in the sand, pretending you don’t understand but in the end we both
want the answers no-one can give.
( What would it be like, what would be my life, without you?)
Plod was mean… I mean; a bail-date just after new-year’s eve!
Didn’t he know it means you’ll have to rush off and leave ?
Wouldn’t’ it have been better before we opened our presents –
( which we’re now holding with tender resplendence)
Knowing that you’d have , and we’d have you, at least another 6 weeks?
That Christmas not yet a year ago , I remember it well (how could I forget???)
Not the wondrous , joyful, hospitable Christmas of years ago, but one isolated, intimate hell.
We survived.
So this year I surprise myself,
I’ve already sprayed walnuts silver and glitter on my otherwise boring Christmas cards and cut out gift tabs out of all the old ones .
I’ve bought, cut up, weighed and measured the ingredients for the cake and left it to sake (e-hum, soak) so all the currants and other bits fatten up (with rum
) .I haven’t yet ordered, but soon will, a turkey, or goose or chicken or soy burgers ( I haven’t decided yet) and looking forward to who’s going to come ….
And do you know… whereas in previous years I would go through the motions with stale routine
I’m aware of looking forward to Christmas in a fragile (almost green) but elated way -
to celebrating with you , this happening long ago, which started with these words , ….
‘Do not be afraid’
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