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This is something I forgot I wrote in 2003. Found it a few weeks ago:
Just a normal family
Two great kids
one wonderful boyfriend
a nice little house
one rabbit
a broken car
doing a psychology degree
volunteer work with young families
agency work one weekend a month
Not bad for someone who left home with eight black bags of clothes and a small dog.
That was ten years ago. Ten years how can that be? True I did spend the first five years in a state no better than sleep walking.
The trouble was I left my abuse of a childhood to the abuse of a bad marriage. But I was not even eighteen when I finally left home.
It was never home just the place I lived. Having children of my own taught me that.
It was all too much to bare in the end. If I hadn't left I would not have lived to see my eightieth birthday.
At sixteen I would lay in the bath and think how easy it would be to just take a razor and cut my wrists. I wanted to just lay there and watch all the pain flow out of me with the blood. My mother and stepfather afterwards would just tell everyone that I was a disturbed child or something like that. no matter what it would never have been their fault. The only thing that stopped me was how my sisters would never understand. However by the time I was seventeen I new that was not enough to stop me for much longer.
It is odd really, to family and friends me meeting him was the worse thing that ever happened. But the truth is he saved me. I went to live with him. The nightmare of my childhood was over and so were my thoughts of death. He made a new kind of nightmare but this one I could handle most of the time. I would just numb my mind and body. I did that for five years.
(Very odd to read this now. Brings back a lot of emotions that I have not had in years. My falsely accused relative will appear in the same court my ex husband did in a few days. The thought of being there again is horrid. All the above is what makes me so angry with false accusers. To lie about these things. That and the hell my family are going though because a lying cow wants revenge and money).
Just a normal family
Two great kids
one wonderful boyfriend
a nice little house
one rabbit
a broken car
doing a psychology degree
volunteer work with young families
agency work one weekend a month
Not bad for someone who left home with eight black bags of clothes and a small dog.
That was ten years ago. Ten years how can that be? True I did spend the first five years in a state no better than sleep walking.
The trouble was I left my abuse of a childhood to the abuse of a bad marriage. But I was not even eighteen when I finally left home.
It was never home just the place I lived. Having children of my own taught me that.
It was all too much to bare in the end. If I hadn't left I would not have lived to see my eightieth birthday.
At sixteen I would lay in the bath and think how easy it would be to just take a razor and cut my wrists. I wanted to just lay there and watch all the pain flow out of me with the blood. My mother and stepfather afterwards would just tell everyone that I was a disturbed child or something like that. no matter what it would never have been their fault. The only thing that stopped me was how my sisters would never understand. However by the time I was seventeen I new that was not enough to stop me for much longer.
It is odd really, to family and friends me meeting him was the worse thing that ever happened. But the truth is he saved me. I went to live with him. The nightmare of my childhood was over and so were my thoughts of death. He made a new kind of nightmare but this one I could handle most of the time. I would just numb my mind and body. I did that for five years.
(Very odd to read this now. Brings back a lot of emotions that I have not had in years. My falsely accused relative will appear in the same court my ex husband did in a few days. The thought of being there again is horrid. All the above is what makes me so angry with false accusers. To lie about these things. That and the hell my family are going though because a lying cow wants revenge and money).
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