1st time iv ever wrote a poem

[fozzyb]

Never done this before but it's from my personal life.


FAILURE

What do you see as a failure, is it someone how’s feeling blue?
The person doesn’t talk any more, especially not to you,
Because this person knows that what you see is true,
This is a person who feels they have let everyone down, this includes you,
And all of this was caused by something outwith his control,
He now feels dead inside, no feeling now in his soul,
The two things most important in his life,
Cruelly taken away by his gigantic evil ex wife,
Everyone rally’s around him yet he still feels alone,
So many people are now suffering so he knows not to moan,
All his emotions are now bottled up,
There is no glass half empty just an empty cup,
He tells no one his secret that he will not talk,
Any of his feelings, these are his fears that others will mock,
He would feel so embarrassed that his family knew,
That he’s not been as strong as he bites his tongue and has a chew,
Again he does not tell his secret that is never to be told,
That he would to the devil his soul was to be sold,
For just one more minute to cuddled by his boys,
To hold them and give them their Christmas toys,
For this he would do anything to have that time again,
But yet that time has not come and he asks himself when,
When can I hold my boys close to me,
And when I wake up the next day I can see,
That this was not a dream, I have them back I cant believe it,
Then I suddenly realise that there is no more bull****,
My life could be back on track and things are looking good,
Then I realise this isn’t real, now I’m in a foul mood,
I stand in front of the mirror and ask, what a failure is,
Is it when he goes to court his head will surely fizz,
But no it’s not he says, it’s letting my loved ones down,
Everyone close to me permanently wears a frown,
I know I’m the cause of this and want to say sorry,
But after November there will be no more worry,
So I ask again this question and he says when he’s on heavens eleven,
His mind is clear, he has an answer, is that it’s me aged twenty seven.

[RFLH]

I hope that you found it cathartic writing it all down, its a very powerful poem.

[fozzyb]

Thanks for replying

Thank you RFLH, whilst writing it I didn't think it was powerful, but after reading it back to myself after I had posted it (lol) I realized that from someone not involved with me, would see it as powerful and in the sense that it is very personal then yeah I feel it is powerful, and you got it spot on, I done it to feel cathartic and it worked brilliantly, I would recommend any to do it.

[tiftaf]

Never done this before but it's from my personal life.


FAILURE


But no it’s not he says, it’s letting my loved ones down,
Everyone close to me permanently wears a frown,
I know I’m the cause of this and want to say sorry,

This bit of the poem raised a lump in my throat. This was the hardest thing for Taf to bear was seeing me an upset mess. As the months went on, I became almost incapacitated by the despair I was feeling. I stopped posting here because I was too upset to read any more of this false allegation stuff. I couldnt bear to think it was happening to someone else and the more stories I read the more angry and hostule I became to life in general. I was put on Citalopram but they just made me into a monster one minute, hating him and being abusive to feeling so low I felt like ending it all. Every day to wake up and your first thought is 'oh what a nice day' or '**** its raining need to get my brolly out' and then suddenly you are reminded of the horror of yourself situation was the most debilitating for me.

I am a sensitive person, I take on everyones issues and can feel their pain at the best of times but this whole situation has not only destroyed Taf and the relationship we had, but it was slowly destroying me. I came off the tablets and I have gained a somewhat emotional even keel but no one can give me back the last 11 months of hell and it still isn't over. However, it is not the first thought on my mind anymore. I think distance from Taf has helped to be honest but the fight isn't over. Today was the first day in a long time I felt able to read more stories and take a more practical view. This needs to stop and believe me, if you think I am going to get this low for nothing then forget it yah!! LOL.

I will keep you all updated. *dons cloak and dagger * ok, just shades

[fozzyb]

Hi tiftaf, firstly I would like to say thanks for reading and replying, I can relate to a lot of what you have and thankfully it sounds like things are getting better for you and that's brilliant. I can understand as well when you say no one can give you the last 11 months of you'r life back, for myself it is now in it's 18th month and although it has been incredibly tough I can honestly say that this site and the most amazing people I have in my life have made things bearable, If i could give any advice I would say "surround yourself with people who make you happy, in time the smile they wear will be on you'r face, and although you cant change the past 11 months, you can make you'r own future and there is nothing and no one that can stop you being truly happy again". And it's brilliant that it isn't the first thing on you'r mind in the morning because that alone shows that you are making great progress and rebuilding yourself, and I agree completely that no one will make you feel this low again, I praise you for that. Sounds like you are a very strong person, anybody who goes through this I take my hat off to you.

[Dave]

Every day to wake up and your first thought is 'oh what a nice day' or '**** its raining need to get my brolly out' and then suddenly you are reminded of the horror of yourself situation was the most debilitating for me.

Oh that feeling of waking up and everything is 'normal' for a split second then bosh, reality hits you like a brick, I remember it well. Horrible.

Time heals, trust me.

[tiftaf]

Oh that feeling of waking up and everything is 'normal' for a split second then bosh, reality hits you like a brick, I remember it well. Horrible.

Time heals, trust me.

Hope so. I thought I was strong but reading the posts here today have made me feel very sad. I cant get it out of my head someone has lost their son to suicide. It's appalling and it has to stop.

[fozzyb]

Agree 100% it does have to stop, it would be so much easier if the courts took a leaf out of the Jeremy Kyle book and make both parties take a lie detector test, they may not be 100 percent accurate but it would be a very effective rather than the accused already been found guilty in certain peoples minds and get the prejudged "professional bodies" looking down there noses at them, the person who is making the false accusation would almost certainly have their halo taken away from them and the real them would be shown for exactly what they are, pure and utter evil and nasty. or maybe that's just me.

It must be very hard for the family of someone who is being accused and even worse for a family who have lost their son/daughter/family member due to something like this, it can and does end peoples life's, not only of the accused but the family's as well. My thoughts go out to anyone who is affected by this type of thing.