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Hi all I'm new to this but i didn't know where else to turn.
It was a friend of mine that told me about this site, as i dont really have anyone else to turn to,
I dont talk to my family, i dont have any friends as they have all decided that they only there when they want something.
I feel alone, i can't sleep and i miss my wife and my kids so much.
This story is a really long one and it started back 2 years ago.
My two eldest children were adopted when i was in my early 20's. I separated from their mother and because of the situation at the time they were eventually taken into care , fostered and then adopted when they were 3 - 4 years old. up until 3 years ago i never had any contact with them or never saw them. I fought the courts and Social Services all the way right up until the very end, but because i couldnt provide them with a stable home due to moving around all the time, they eventually got adopted.
3 years ago i got in touch with my eldest daughter who i found through facebook, and it was there i found my other daughter too.
they both came to live in the area where i was living and everything was great up until i found out they were both going to have children.
Unfortunately due to circumstances and not listening to advice and help from not only myself but my partner too. They both lost their children to social services and both were places under a SGO . i was really annoyed because i bonded so well with both my grand children and then to lose them like that was a complete shock to my system, and thats when things started going down hilll for me.
i started arguing with them alll the time and had some major fallouts which resulted in me not talking to them for months,
I have tried to be there for them but it always ended up doing more harm than good.
I think they have always resented the fact that i have never been able to be there for them to bring them up. And i know this as they have both told me this too.
I started working with one of them and was running a successful business working along side one of my daughters, things going really well for 2 years, then my eldest daughter and my daughters boyfriend and even my wife started getting jealous because me and my daughter had so much in common, same taste in music, same hobbies, both loved singing, entertaining and spent a lot of time together working and getting to know each other after 16 years of not being able to see them or talk to them. my eldest daughter moved out of the area by this time too, but that was up until October last year when things took a tragic turn for the worse and my whole life fell apart.
I was forced by social services to move out of my family home and not see my children who i had 5 with my wife. i was looking after them daily taking them to school, cooking their dinners, doing their washing, drying and running around after them while my wife had 3 jobs during the day and i had one job at night working 4 nights sometimes 5 nights a week.
But now i only see my kids once a week for an hour and a half. There is a lot more to this story but i dont know if im allowed to post it here or whether i have to do it in a different forum. To be honest im not really sure how this works as i have never done this before.
But i can tell you now that I now love alone, im scared im going to lose everything, my wife, kids, my family. I can't sleep i dont always eat as i hate cooking for myself as im used to cooking for not only myself but for my wife and kids too.
I do get depressed, but not only is my whole life being ripped apart but my work is also being affected by what happened too. literally my whole life is falling apart and i dont know what i can do to stop this or prevent thigns getting any worse.
As i said i dont know if i should continue posting here or whether i use a new thread to tell my whole story.
Please help a very lost and alone dad.
Thanks
It was a friend of mine that told me about this site, as i dont really have anyone else to turn to,
I dont talk to my family, i dont have any friends as they have all decided that they only there when they want something.
I feel alone, i can't sleep and i miss my wife and my kids so much.
This story is a really long one and it started back 2 years ago.
My two eldest children were adopted when i was in my early 20's. I separated from their mother and because of the situation at the time they were eventually taken into care , fostered and then adopted when they were 3 - 4 years old. up until 3 years ago i never had any contact with them or never saw them. I fought the courts and Social Services all the way right up until the very end, but because i couldnt provide them with a stable home due to moving around all the time, they eventually got adopted.
3 years ago i got in touch with my eldest daughter who i found through facebook, and it was there i found my other daughter too.
they both came to live in the area where i was living and everything was great up until i found out they were both going to have children.
Unfortunately due to circumstances and not listening to advice and help from not only myself but my partner too. They both lost their children to social services and both were places under a SGO . i was really annoyed because i bonded so well with both my grand children and then to lose them like that was a complete shock to my system, and thats when things started going down hilll for me.
i started arguing with them alll the time and had some major fallouts which resulted in me not talking to them for months,
I have tried to be there for them but it always ended up doing more harm than good.
I think they have always resented the fact that i have never been able to be there for them to bring them up. And i know this as they have both told me this too.
I started working with one of them and was running a successful business working along side one of my daughters, things going really well for 2 years, then my eldest daughter and my daughters boyfriend and even my wife started getting jealous because me and my daughter had so much in common, same taste in music, same hobbies, both loved singing, entertaining and spent a lot of time together working and getting to know each other after 16 years of not being able to see them or talk to them. my eldest daughter moved out of the area by this time too, but that was up until October last year when things took a tragic turn for the worse and my whole life fell apart.
I was forced by social services to move out of my family home and not see my children who i had 5 with my wife. i was looking after them daily taking them to school, cooking their dinners, doing their washing, drying and running around after them while my wife had 3 jobs during the day and i had one job at night working 4 nights sometimes 5 nights a week.
But now i only see my kids once a week for an hour and a half. There is a lot more to this story but i dont know if im allowed to post it here or whether i have to do it in a different forum. To be honest im not really sure how this works as i have never done this before.
But i can tell you now that I now love alone, im scared im going to lose everything, my wife, kids, my family. I can't sleep i dont always eat as i hate cooking for myself as im used to cooking for not only myself but for my wife and kids too.
I do get depressed, but not only is my whole life being ripped apart but my work is also being affected by what happened too. literally my whole life is falling apart and i dont know what i can do to stop this or prevent thigns getting any worse.
As i said i dont know if i should continue posting here or whether i use a new thread to tell my whole story.
Please help a very lost and alone dad.
Thanks
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