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  • #16
    Thinking about the PO that both Amanda and I have had contact with; during phonecalls I had with them whilst I was still in prison, they put objections up to everything I said or asked for, without even bothering to ask further questions or seek extra information. The brick wall scenario.

    So you can imagine how full of trepidation I was when I had my first face-to-face meeting last Monday. However, the meeting was very easy-going; the PO took the time to explain things from their point of view; the first meeting was a chance for us both to begin getting to know each other. As such, it was nowhere near as bad as I feared. However, I did form the opinion that the PO was trying to pass the buck to the SS with regard to my contact with our son - they said it was the SS's decision to re-open the case, whereas the SW told Amanda that the PO asked for it to be reviewed. So, who do we believe?

    If the PO mentions grooming during our meeting tomorrow, I will ask for a full explanation of what that actually entails. I also intend to take notes of what she says. As far as I'm aware of what grooming entails, neither I nor Amanda did anything that could be described as grooming or anything like it. But of course it's going to be very difficult to prove it, seeing as the police still have our mobile phones, computers and tablets.

    I haven't seen our son since just before Christmas, in the visiting hall in the prison where I was incarcerated. I now fear that if I tell the PO just exactly how much I miss him, she'll see that as me desperately wanting an opportunity to 'get my hands on him', so to speak. How many times does HE need to tell people in authority that I have never molested him and that he has always been safe with me? So much for all children must be believed these days.

    Perhaps when we're together with the PO tomorrow we'll be able to keep each other calm.

    Comment


    • #17
      Amanda read the bit on the SS forums relating to the PAFAA Mantra.
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

      Comment


      • #18
        We are dealing with false allegations made to SS as well as to the police and they are as difficult to deal with. It's like talking to a brick wall, but they are selective in whom they believe, and their reports contradict themselves, but there's no recourse.

        It's like having competing nightmares!!
        'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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        • #19
          Well, I've had another incredibly frustrating meeting with the POs today. It makes me ALMOST wish I was back in prison to complete my sentence, and be done with it.

          Today I took a letter, in which I tried to explain why I am so angry about the whole case. I did this because I lost my temper last week and was threatened with a warning - I find it so difficult to speak rationally with these people.

          It turned out to be not a very good idea. The two of them picked my letter apart and centered on the disparaging way I referred to some of my FA's parents (I simply referred to them by their surnames). I countered with how did they expect me to refer to them as, seeing as they're a bunch of lying *******s. Apparantly, I should have been more respectful....

          I also actually asked them in the letter for them to get me on an anger-management course - I never used to lose my temper easily and was always easy-going. I don't like the fact that I can't keep my temper when they keep telling me I'm a threat to young boys. But that's 'not in their remit', apparently, so one of the POs will try to work with me directly on it. Which means that everything I say will be twisted around into something sinister. Again.

          We spoke of my and my OH's son - they said it seemed 'unatural' that our lives seemed to centre around the wee fella hugely, and that it didn't seem natural that he was so happy in going everywhere and doing interesting things with us. I REALLY had to bite my tongue here - it seemed that they were suggesting that we were so close to him for nefarious and sinister reasons. I keep stressing to these idiots that they need to speak with him first, before they jump to their wildly innacurate assessments, but of course 'they don't need to'.

          I found their inferences to be absolutely sickening. So in the future, I will not mention him at all - no doubt that will be wrong as well.

          So I ended up by taking the letter back from them, and ripping it up in front of them.

          I asked if they believe that every person in prison is guilty. They both said 'of course - if we didn't believe that then we couldn't do our jobs.' So I countered with the result of some research that my OH had done, where it was discovered that 'around 17% of prisoners are innocent'. Their response? 'Hmm, I'm surprised that the figure is so low, given how many people there are in prison...' So directly opposed to their earlier comment.

          I used to enjoy this type of mental jousting, but with these two jokers its real torture.

          So I'm really down today, and I miss my family like you wouldn't believe.

          Comment


          • #20
            Quote from JC- "You can't argue with stupidity".
            They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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            • #21
              Originally posted by AmandaF View Post
              Quote from JC- "You can't argue with stupidity".
              'JC' - which one - Jesus Christ or Jeremy Clarkson? I know how you feel about them both, remember!

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Malkie View Post
                'JC' - which one - Jesus Christ or Jeremy Clarkson? I know how you feel about them both, remember!
                Unfortunately, you can't fix stupid either. Ignorance, maybe. You can always hope for better education or a light bulb moment. But stupid? Nope!
                'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Malkie you really do have to curb your tongue otherwise you will be recalled - hopefully not to Scotland.

                  I've heard it said before that being in prison is easier than being on licence. Some people who take these jobs I really do believe have some sort of "sickness" of their own, where they will see sexual abuse anywhere. I know of one guy (professional drummer) who had his drum sticks seized because they were "phallic objects".

                  I have to wonder whether some of these probation officers and social workers get off on working with thes cases.

                  I appreciate that they really do meet the most awful people / pond life, but there seems to be no common sense reasoning with some of these officers.
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Dont forget as well that these people basically work for the Police... as far as they are concerned you are guilty what ever you say they are not going to take any notice of

                    As for the deniers course how can you deny something which never happened in the first place? ask them for the proof ... *Ok show me the proof, the so called evidence from the Claiments*
                    I would say to them and I will if anyone ever crosses my path *How dare you and you are the one that should be ashamed, you are no better than me and you never will be lets hope
                    no one in your family finds theirselves with a false allegation against them how dare you judge me *

                    Malkie, they are no better than you you just remember that when you see them.
                    Im just really angry for you ( I know the story ) really angry

                    I do see things in black and white

                    Hugs to you and Amanda your both never far from my thoughts xxx

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Thanks to Right Fighter and Shah; your words give me some comfort.

                      Oh by the way, Amanda has reminded me of who JC is - neither of the two gentlemen I thought of!

                      As I write this, I have Van Morrison on the earphones singing "You're Not Supposed To Break Down." That is far, far easier to say than it is to achieve.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        SS have now decided to move the goalposts yet again,
                        Originally they were saying that contact would be established within 6 months as they were looking for a suitable third person to supervise.

                        I phoned repeatedly to ask where we were in the greater scheme of things only to be told that as OH is a risk, he has to be interviewed by SS and if he gets the answers wrong there is to be no contact throughout the licence period. That's a bit different to taking the wishes of the child into consideration, who has been spoken to by SS recently and she acknowledged that he is desperate to meet up with the only person he has known as "dad".
                        I said so basically, if he admits guilt, he's a risk, if he doesn't, he's a risk and she said yes that's right so it's no win situation. But after license period ends we're free to do what we want. Oh really??

                        I hate the way they twist everything- latest one was they were querying that it's unnatural for a child to spend all his time with us. He was 10 when we were last together, What are we supposed to do? He has always had a wide circle of friends and interests apart from us. What's the problem?

                        And yes RF, I think you are quite right in what you say about how their minds work
                        They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          I find it difficult to believe that SS would go away once the licence period is done. I've never heard of that happening before.

                          Imagine if this was a real sex offender, and SS let him loose once the licence period was over. It just wouldn't happen.

                          Use the "mantra" on the SS section on PAFAA:


                          Version 1 - When you know the accuser well, e.g. a family member:

                          “I will never know whether the alleged abuse happened or not as only the two people involved know for sure. However, as I know both of the people very well I have looked at their characters and thought carefully about the allegations and on the whole I believe my partner/husband. However, I am keeping an open mind about this and if anybody can show me some evidence, or if the situation changes, I will reconsider my position. My number one priority is the children”.



                          Version 2 - When you don't know the accuser well:

                          “I will never know whether the alleged abuse happened or not as only the two people involved know for sure. However, in the absence of any firm evidence, knowing my husband./partner as well as I do and having thought carefully about the allegations, on the whole I believe my partner/husband. However, I am keeping an open mind about this and if anybody can show me some evidence, or if the situation changes, I will reconsider my position. My number one priority is the children”.
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            RF- that's the attitude (version 1) I have maintained until now.

                            for us I think it's a 2-edged sword - because I was charged with intimidating witnesses I'm deemed as guilty on the balance of probabilities.
                            So that makes us both guilty
                            They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Still use the mantra and reassure them that the children will always come first.
                              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Hello, finally nice to 'meet' the other half!!!!!

                                All i can say from reading this thread is that the person who got the person to make the accusation (in our case) slept with a underaged, found guilty and was prison for a year.. he now lives up the road with his gf son and two young children. He admitted to us that he changed his name (gave the impression more than once though) and he said that if you want to make someone loose everything that is the way to go. He 'lost' his son at the time but now sees him often.

                                i found this article....
                                http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jack...b_6569110.html

                                don't know if it helps or not, but there is hope for the future!!

                                h xxxxxx
                                "Only True Love Can Survive This"

                                -Hubby was accused - arrested in June 2015 - re-bailed December 2015 - NFA'd March 31st 2016 - SS allowed him back home to our family April 2016-

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