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I am new to this site and need a place where I can discuss and get advice.
My story is that my spouse cheated on me over a year and a half ago with his ex girlfriend. Right after the incident , which according to him was consensual. She is accusing him of rape and he is looking at 3 years in prison.
At the moment I have decided to stay with him and support him because I do believe that he is innocent of rape.
There is also a witness to this incident as well, while my spouse and his ex were in the "act" in a hotel room after a concert, my spouse's best friend who came with him to the concert, step out of the hotel room for approx 45 min and when he returned walked in on them in the act. The ex girlfriend was embarrassed and got dressed and ran out (since she also has a boyfriend). At this point there was never any struggle, she was the one that insisted on coming back to the hotel room and her story has so many holes that I do not know where to start.
Long story short, how I know all of this is because 3 weeks ago we went to my spouse's preliminary trial in which the ex girlfriend told her story of the night.
The judge has deemed that there is enough that it can go to trial, which at this point could well into the fall. My spouse has hired what we know as a very good lawyer and he has already spent $10,000 and it is still yet to go to trial with a full jury.
Everyday I question what I am doing here, why should I stick it out and hope that his name will get cleared and we can start fresh. For my spouse this was a bad choice that went horribly wrong in which he is being falsely accused of rape. I cannot talk to anyone about this for many reasons. I feel like I am slipping away and it took 10 months to even get to the preliminary hearing. I don't know if I should stick it out. During the prelim the lawyer stated that she is lying and he believes that this will work out. I feel that I am being punished for his actions and that this ex girlfriend is getting the best revenge she knows how. It has taken me over a year to learn how to cope, I just don't know if I can keep up the patience pace to wait for the trial. Sitting in court at the prelim, I locked eyes on her the whole time and she could not even look at me. The funny thing too, is that her boyfriend, who she is still with, she did not let come into the court room to hear her story, she made him wait outside the court room. Listening in detail what happened according to her (which parts of her testimony were true accounts) was the most traumatic experience of my life. I keep reliving that story over and over again in my head. My spouse's way of coping is to not talk about it and deal with it when we have too.
I wish there were real stats showing how many of these cases are proven to be bogus and it just makes me sad for people who really get raped and how they have to go through the court system. I wish my spouse's lawyer could just tell us that he will win and I would feel much better, but he can't. I feel like I am living a nightmare, that I can never talk about to anyone and that I am never going to wake up unless I leave.
Thank you for having this forum, it means a lot for me to tell my story.
My story is that my spouse cheated on me over a year and a half ago with his ex girlfriend. Right after the incident , which according to him was consensual. She is accusing him of rape and he is looking at 3 years in prison.
At the moment I have decided to stay with him and support him because I do believe that he is innocent of rape.
There is also a witness to this incident as well, while my spouse and his ex were in the "act" in a hotel room after a concert, my spouse's best friend who came with him to the concert, step out of the hotel room for approx 45 min and when he returned walked in on them in the act. The ex girlfriend was embarrassed and got dressed and ran out (since she also has a boyfriend). At this point there was never any struggle, she was the one that insisted on coming back to the hotel room and her story has so many holes that I do not know where to start.
Long story short, how I know all of this is because 3 weeks ago we went to my spouse's preliminary trial in which the ex girlfriend told her story of the night.
The judge has deemed that there is enough that it can go to trial, which at this point could well into the fall. My spouse has hired what we know as a very good lawyer and he has already spent $10,000 and it is still yet to go to trial with a full jury.
Everyday I question what I am doing here, why should I stick it out and hope that his name will get cleared and we can start fresh. For my spouse this was a bad choice that went horribly wrong in which he is being falsely accused of rape. I cannot talk to anyone about this for many reasons. I feel like I am slipping away and it took 10 months to even get to the preliminary hearing. I don't know if I should stick it out. During the prelim the lawyer stated that she is lying and he believes that this will work out. I feel that I am being punished for his actions and that this ex girlfriend is getting the best revenge she knows how. It has taken me over a year to learn how to cope, I just don't know if I can keep up the patience pace to wait for the trial. Sitting in court at the prelim, I locked eyes on her the whole time and she could not even look at me. The funny thing too, is that her boyfriend, who she is still with, she did not let come into the court room to hear her story, she made him wait outside the court room. Listening in detail what happened according to her (which parts of her testimony were true accounts) was the most traumatic experience of my life. I keep reliving that story over and over again in my head. My spouse's way of coping is to not talk about it and deal with it when we have too.
I wish there were real stats showing how many of these cases are proven to be bogus and it just makes me sad for people who really get raped and how they have to go through the court system. I wish my spouse's lawyer could just tell us that he will win and I would feel much better, but he can't. I feel like I am living a nightmare, that I can never talk about to anyone and that I am never going to wake up unless I leave.
Thank you for having this forum, it means a lot for me to tell my story.
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