Dazed and confused

[123zyx]

Hello - I've been contacted to go to a police station to go for an interview under caution because someone (the son of some old friends) has accused me of raping him 20+ years ago when he was a child. The accusation is absolutely false and came out of the blue. I've had very little contact with this person as an adult and remember little about him as a child.

Since they contacted me a week ago my head's been spinning and I've felt really bad - even suicidal at one point when thinking about the future. Also not really eating for a few days though that's now beginning to pass. Reading this site carefully (I couldn't post for technical reasons) has both reassured and terrified me. At least I know this is something that has happened to others (I would truly not wish this situation on anybody, ever), not just to me and that the outcome is not always the worst possibility.

I assume the police will arrest me at the interview. I'm working away from home for a while and they say they're OK about me making an appointment for the interview when I get back in January - is this normal? Is that a good sign, a bad sign or neither? I'm happy (not that happy's the right word here) to go back earlier if necessary and if I can do so without explaining to my employer.

Thanks to all here who share their experiences and to those who give the benefit of their knowledge to help others.

[Casehardened]

Hi and welcome to the forum,

I'd say it is a positive sign that you have not been arrested but invited in for a voluntary interview (I doubt that you will be arrested during the interview unless you try to leave!) though as the allegation is so historic there is not much point in an arrest (which is usually done to preserve evidence) however the allegation has been made for whatever reason and the police are therefore obliged to follow it up.

However you must take it seriously and line up a solicitor to accompany you to the interview (some members recommendations here: http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors ) Sitting in on the interview will be covered by legal aid but as you have been given notice of the interview I would strongly recommend paying for a prior consultation to discuss the allegation and how you should respond to the questioning, i.e. no comment or full response.

Incidentally if you think of a motive for the accusation coming now or anything that proves it is false do discuss this with the solicitor first; if you tell the police they are likely to re-interview the accuser who may then change their story to suit!

NB Be prepared for your phone and/or PC to be checked to corroborate any 'interest' in this line.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi 123zyx

Welcome Plane.gifto these forums!

Was good to 'chat' via Facebook just now. I've sent an email to the solicitor we discussed so he knows to check for your email.

Hopefully you can speak with him very soon. He has a very calming effect on people!

[myhome]

Hi 123zyx and welcome though sorry you had to find us.
As always CH and RF have given you great advice and as you have spoken with RF you are in very good hands!

I would agree with CH that it's unlikely you'll be arrested, and it is probably a good sign they are happy to wait until January to interview you. I am sure that if they were seriously considering this they'd want to interview you straight away. I too had historic allegations against me, received the same invite that you have, was neither arrested nor charged at the interrogation where I gave full answers. I eventually got NFA. I would add that if you are advised to answer questions, then only answer the questions and don't volunteer any other information.

You say you are working away from home - is this abroad, or just another part of the country?

Keep strong - the hideous nausea, fright, ending it all do gradually ease. Please do not consider suicide as an option - it is a very PERMANENT solution to an horrendous TEMPORARY situation.

Keep posting and we'll help all we can.....MH

[Rights Fighter]

You said you felt better after our 'chat' on Facebook last night. I'm happy to Skype if you would like to do that. Voice can be better than typed word. If you PM me your Sky address I'll add you as a contact

[123zyx]

You said you felt better after our 'chat' on Facebook last night. I'm happy to Skype if you would like to do that. Voice can be better than typed word. If you PM me your Sky address I'll add you as a contact

Thanks for your support - a few days ago when we made contact, you really did help me - perhaps more than you realise.

No progress yet, except of course finding a solicitor (Chris Saltrese) who has given down to earth advice about the interview. I still feel up and down, but that's a lot better than just down. Right now, all I can think of is 'why??" What would make someone allege that someone who had very little contact with them either as a kid or an adult had abused them? I wonder if he knows the difference between fact and fantasy or just sees a money making scheme, one that can have devastating consequences for people.

It isn't something you can really talk to people about - it's human nature to say that there's no smoke without fire. In this case, there's not even a spark, but mud sticks once it's thrown.

[Rights Fighter]

He probably has money worries and as he doesn't have any emotional attachment to you, he therefore has no conscience as to what he is doing to you and what the outcome could be.

Having said that, people who are emotionally attached to somebody can equally make false allegations if there is some false perception of a misdemeanor or slight without realising the consequences.

Keep on keeping on

[123zyx]

he therefore has no conscience as to what he is doing to you and what the outcome could be.

And that's the hardest bit to understand. I don't think I could go into a police station and make an allegation like that about my worst enemy. Or even any sort of false allegation at all.

To just invent something - a very serious crime, maybe the worst crime of all - is almost impossible to believe. And if anyone finds out that's probably what they'll think; that it's impossible to make something like that up so there must be at least a grain of truth behind it. Not to mention what a jury might think.

I suppose my best hope is that the specifics of the allegations are so outrageous that they're full of inconsistencies and nothing will come of it in the end. Not that I actually know any details about what he's said. I wonder when he's pretending it happened, since he was never, ever, alone with me or my ex.

I'm worried too about what my ex (a decent man but a loose cannon if ever there was one) who was arrested for the same thing as well as assaulting the same young man years later (I don't even know if he's lied about me doing that too - I expect the worst though) and interviewed without a solicitor might have said naively, thinking the police were only interested in the truth.

Feeling very low today and sick of putting on a brave face in public, thinking how all this could turn out, not just the worst possibility or the best one, but all those outcomes in between. I hope common sense and truth will come out in the end :-(

[Rights Fighter]

Once you have met solicitor Chris you will feel tons better. (((HUGS)))

[123zyx]

Once you have met solicitor Chris you will feel tons better. (((HUGS)))

Yes. Chris did make me feel much better and he does indeed have a very calming influence - I can't praise or recommend him enough.

Some news - Chris forwarded me an email last night from the police saying they are taking no further action.

Thanks to everyone who offered advice and support, especially Rights Fighter who really does deserve a medal for what she does.

Still in shock a bit and the dust hasn't settled yet and also thinking a lot about people who are only just starting this nightmare plus those who have been dragged into court for something they didn't do or have even been wrongly convicted.

But...... do I get a banana?

[Rights Fighter]

Of course you do!!!



Don't eat them all at once!! x

[WhyUs]

Here are some more:

[Casehardened]

Second bit of brilliant news today....wonderful & thanks for the accolade for RF, she deserves it.

[jittery]

woo hoo

Yes. Chris did make me feel much better and he does indeed have a very calming influence - I can't praise or recommend him enough.

Some news - Chris forwarded me an email last night from the police saying they are taking no further action.

Thanks to everyone who offered advice and support, especially Rights Fighter who really does deserve a medal for what she does.

Still in shock a bit and the dust hasn't settled yet and also thinking a lot about people who are only just starting this nightmare plus those who have been dragged into court for something they didn't do or have even been wrongly convicted.

But...... do I get a banana?

Woo Hoo!

Great stuff, glad to hear your good news!

[123zyx]

Thanks! Also to Casehardened and MyHome whose posts were a great comfort.

Re. false accusations, we have to stop people doing this - it seems to happen so often and hurt so many people. In my case, there was nearly a suicide, one of the other people accused by the FA suffered a stroke and my partner had an MS relapse (and each of those leaves permanent damage and shortens your life).

At a lesser (but still annoying) level, as a teacher of English as a Foreign Language, I can never now teach in UK summer schools for minors - an important source of income for many EFL teachers. And forget the idea of option or fostering, not that we had any plans to do that.

Now it's 'over' (thought something like this changes people for ever) it's easy to just try to forget. And then it just happens again to somebody else :-(