Hi everyone.

[yonohesido]

I joined late last night and after reading up on here I'm more terrified than ever. I don't know where to turn at all. My hubby is a stressed out mess and I'm not much better. We have told the children what is happening as if hubby gets sent away we don't want it to be so much of a shock. We haven't told them why hubby was arrested.

Hubby is going through a custody battle with his ex and after 3 years she 'suddenly' remembers all these events so yet again he doesn't get contact with his son.
He is starting to think it would be better to just give up his son so she stops with all this rubbish as it obvious to any sane person that is the reason she is making these allegations. She has told the police one thing (he raped her and used her as a sex slave with his sister) told caffcas another (he tortured her, tried to drown her and poison her) the family court was told he beat her unconscious so he could abuse his son.
The police wasn't told what caffcas and the family court was told. She reported it to the police in April, in may she made a court order so hubby couldn't get access to his son. She never mentioned in the court papers that she had been to the police.
At family court on Friday she claimed (to the judge) that the social worker that did the initial section 7 report was being investigated by the police for not completing reports and that he wasnt allowed near the case, hubby called him and he is still working and has no knowlage of this.

its simply ridiculous.

Throughout the custody she has lied. (Saying she told police/social services/doctors that all this was going on but they ignored her. there are no records of this AT ALL.) She has lied saying my husband went into her sons doctor drunk and abused the staff as he wanted to see his sons records, she said the doctors were going to call the police but she explained it was my hubby and they told her to tell him not to come again. She states this in a text message that we have saved. Hubby DID go into the gp but he wasn't drunk or abusive and was given advise on how to gain access to the records. We have a letter from the gp stating this and stating he was not abusive at all but still she gets away with things.

I'm angry and I just don't know how to help my husband..

Sorry for the edits, I'm angry and typing fast.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Yonohesido - Welcome.

The lies your husband is being subjected to are horrendous and must be really insulting to hear. BUT .... the more she says, the more outrageous she is and the more people she implicates, the lesser her cridibility. Rather than give up on his son, I would encourage your husband to persevere and try and create an imaginary wall to protect himself from her verbal rotten tomatoes. It could be that someone along the way starts questionning whether she's fit to bring up children.

You're doing exactly the right thing by keeping records of all contact and trying to get proof of her slanderous attacks. Copy everything then keep in a safe place and hand them to your solicitor when the time comes. Was your husband assisted by a soliciotr when he was arrested? Do you know if he/she has experience of these cases? If not not , have a look on the tread 'Specialist solicitors' under 'general information'. I can't stress enough how important it is to have a competent and experienced defence team.

[whatsgoingon?]

As far as being even more terrified after having read other people's threads go, that's understandable. Most people here have been through or are going through some very traumatic situations, and when they post things are often at their roughest.

BUT Many of our members end up being found Not Guilty or NFA (no further action taken ), so don't despair. We're here to learn and support one another

[yonohesido]

Thanks

He was 'invited' to the station and we did contact a solicitor so at least he had someone there with him.

We don't have much money (am disabled and he is myself and my kids full time carer) we cannot afford to use a solicitor to fight the custody case so my hubby is representing himself.

I was raped 2 yrs ago and wasn't believed but this mad woman has the world hanging onto her every word. We are actually worried about his son as these FA are getting more and more bizarre and extreme. What will she do next?
I have done some research and I do believe she is mentally ill, she has got women's aid involved and she has some how brain washed son into saying hubby did things. I know 100% they didn't happen, I'm not a disillusioned woman with rosé tinted glasses, if anything I'm a cynic and question everything.
She didn't like the results of the last section 7 report so she reported the SW and went to the police. What will happen if she doesn't like the new report?
Hubby is constantly worried every time his phone rings in case she has made other FA. He is sorting out other care for me so WHEN he gets sent down we will be ok. She has got away with so many lies that he has no faith in the system anymore. I've only touched apon a tiny amount of the hell she has put us through.

Sorry for going off on one, I don't talk about it to anyone and I'm just trying to be strong but it's brought all the bad memories of my rape back and I'm a mess.

[is there justice?]

Hi Yonohesido

Sorry you are here but welcome.

WGO has given you excellent advice. I agree that the more outrageous her claims are, the less she will be believed. Liars do embellish, add, change and sensationalise their claims.

In relation to your own awful experience it may be worth seeking some support just so you can stay strong for your hubby. These FAs really suck the very soul out of you and you need to do all you can to stay physically and mentally strong.

The FA against Hub occurred as I was facing being a witness in a serious case (probably what gave the FA her warped idea) and it did add a lot of extra stress. In the end I didn't need to go to Court as he changed his plea but it made life extremely difficult.

[Lucky]

As everyone has said WGO is spot on with the advice given.

from the information in your first post, it is obvious you need to be very clear with your solicitors and tell them EVERYTHING. make sure you get someone good on board, and someone you can talk to.

but you have been sensible in already lining up the kids for the worst case scenario.

best of luck

[myhome]

HI and welcome also - this is indeed an horrendous story...but as WGO has said, the more your hubby's FA adds the less likely she is to be believed...
You will gets loads of support and advice on here so keep on posting and we'll keep on helping......keep strong....MH