Nightmare! Don't trust anyone anymore!!

[priory1234]

since last year I've had this hanging over me. Victim has said in statement to the police "IT WAS CONSENSUAL" so why have I been charged and told to appear at Crown Court????????

[Rights Fighter]

We cannot answer that as we know nothing about the case. Please explain a little more.

[priory1234]

my ex-girfriend came round to my place voluntarily and we had in my view consensual sex. She never once gave me ANY indication she didnt want to. In fact she stayed the night. few weeks later I was woken up by police and arrested and told I was being charged with sexual assault!! I denied it and told them she consented. They insisted she hadn't consented. Like an idiot I said no to having a solicitor present as I was convinced (still am) I'd done nothing wrong. NEVER would I advise anyone to refuse to have a solicitor present in future. Was bailed and after magistrates court was comitted to crown court.

Then I was given a copy of her statement! It says and I quote HER words "it was consensual, i wasn't stopping anything" But later on she says "I stopped things after a while as I didn't like it" and then she slept with me!! How on earth can the police ignore such an obvious contradiction??

am I missing something?? Feel as if I've just been thrown into a machine with an automatic outcome! Yet she says she consented!!!!!!

[gem]

hi
how old is your girlfriend.if she is under 16 she cannot give consent .as she is classed as a minor

[Rights Fighter]

In law, she can give consent, get down and dirty and then change her mind, at which point you are supposed to suddenly collect your thoughts together and withdraw - she says you didn't.

In my book, if you get naked with a guy, go to bed with him, allow the preliminaries and allow penetration, then to suddenly say "I've changed my mind" is utterly wrong, unfair and often impossible to do if the guy has reached the point of no return. I know I would be very insulted if I got into the act with a guy and he suddenly withdrew saying "I don't want to do this any more". I'd wonder what was wrong with me!

Unfortunately this is part of some stupid femi-nazi doctrine. It's as stupid as saying that all women should be able to walk down the street naked without attracting unwanted attention. Human nature doesn't work like that and they are going against human nature.

For example I went to a pub with a friend a few months ago. I was dressed conservatively while she was not. When I went to the bar to get the drinks I did not receive unwanted attention. When it was her turn she came back angry because men were propositioning her.

Back to topic - she said she wanted to stop and you didn't. So this could be construed as rape. My common sense view is she should not have gone as far as she did if she did not intend to go through with it.

Let's hope it is dumped before it gets to charge.

[priory1234]

I have been charged and told to appear in a Crown Court. Found a solicitor and she's found a barrister but nothing appears to be happening! If it helps read below questions I think she should be asked. She's 20.


Would she please explain and expand on her sworn statement to the police “at the same time it was consensual, I wasn’t stopping anything” and by the making of an allegation of sexual assault the contradiction with her claim that she had not consented
Please would she explain why in the same statement she later said “I stopped things”? Did she or did she not “stop” things?
Also in her sworn statement, would she please comment on her words “I stopped things after a while cos I didn’t like it” Having changed her mind from giving consent HOW did she tell me she “after a while, didn’t like it” There is nothing in her statement indicating HOW, WHEN or even IF she told me to stop either verbally or physically.
Her statements to the Police do not contain any reference to her actually saying NO or any other words and/or actions to me at any point indicating she was NOT consenting. Instead her statement confirms “I think he knew I wasn’t happy” Please amplify in what way did she “think” he knew she wasn’t happy?
What are her motives in making this allegation? An email she sent shortly afterwards to a member of my family states “I really, really care about him” and” I kind of thought doing this would encourage him to get help” In what way does she think an allegation of sexual assault will provide help me? In other words, would she please explain her motives in bringing attention to herself by means of this allegation please?
Would she please explain why, in light of both her own and my statements that she consented to voluntarily undressing herself and having intercourse she now claims she did NOT consent?
Could she help explain please why she did not scream or cry out for help considering there were other people [a male friend of mine from school – he heard nothing!] in the house? If, as she says in her statement she was scared, why didn’t she cry out? Further if scared, why having got dressed didn’t she leave the house and call for help?
Having had an oral sex act performed on her, why did she consent to voluntarily performing an oral sex act on me please? Why, as by her own admission she was free to leave at any point, didn’t she leave immediately rather than voluntarily perform a sex act on me? Further, why did she decide to stay the night instead??
Further after having consensual intercourse, would she help by explaining why she got dressed and then climbed into bed with me and went to sleep please?
Would she please confirm on the next morning, when I attempted to have sex with her again and she clearly stated NO, I respected her refusal. Can she remember how she conveyed her refusal of consent to me on this occasion?
Would she please explain her text to me soon after which states “No, you didn’t rape me” and a second text “but you sexually assaulted me” Please explain what, in her view, is the difference and how she was aware of the difference between rape and sexual assault within hours of the alleged incident?

[priory1234]

she's 20.

actually we split up a couple of months before this lot kicked off so were not boyfriend and girlfriend when it happened.

[Rights Fighter]

It might help if you post up in small separate paragraphs so it is easy for people to read.

You have asked "would she please..." How do we know what she would or would not do? We were not there. We do not know her motives as you have not explained the background of the case in simple terms.

For instance:

Would she please confirm on the next morning, when I attempted to have sex with her again and she clearly stated NO, I respected her refusal. Can she remember how she conveyed her refusal of consent to me on this occasion?
Would she please explain her text to me soon after which states “No, you didn’t rape me” and a second text “but you sexually assaulted me” Please explain what, in her view, is the difference and how she was aware of the difference between rape and sexual assault within hours of the alleged incident?

Nobody can here answer those questions.

Please note that there are several other people on this site all in desperate need of support and advice - they cannot all answer your questions in the way you have posted up so far.

Take a deep breath. Take time in typing. Check what you have written bearing in mind there are other people needing help on here and then click "submit reply". Hopefully then somebody will be able to help.

[priory1234]

i'm sorry. I'm just going out of my mind with worry! was going to be a PE teacher. Not with this over my head.

[Rights Fighter]

I know - it's a nightmare! But for us to help you we need to understand what has happened. For us to do that, you need to put it as simply as you can (no gory bits necessary just the basics).

Remember that this is a public forum and anybody can read these threads so don't post up any identifying info on here - the police are known to read this forum as well.

Hopefully you have a half decent solicitor in your corner.

[fighter]

hi priory, sorry you have to be here. Welcome to the forum.

hopefully when you meet again with your solicitor since you were charged already, you could make your own statement to address her statements. Was there any other evidence gathered?

[priory1234]

In simple terms, she came round and we had a full consensual physical relationship.

NOT once did she say or give me ANY impression she didn’t want to. I was wrong apparently.

After my arrest, in my innocence I thought I’ve got nothing to hide and done nothing wrong so why not say so? Big mistake.

It's basically my word against hers but it seems her word counts for more than mine every time. I guess courts the only place you can hear both sides of a story but I'm not confident at all from what I've seen so far.

She told the police (when she was interviewed) she consented. She even told the police she wasn’t stopping me. That's been ignored.

But that part of her statement "I stopped things" - she stopped things, has NOT been ignored.

There was only me and her in the room and I know the truth but I doubt the true version (mine) will even be really considered now. I'm just a number.

My solicitor was gobsmacked when she heard the policeman when I returned to the station tell me the CPS were taking the case to crown court eventually. I went out and was physically ill

Before this I'd have welcomed a chance to go to court and clear my name. Now I'm not so sure. Instead I've written it all down and tried to get on with my life.

BUT never ever should you refuse the offer of legal advice if others get involved. My solicitor is firmly of the opinion things might not be so bad if she'd have been there at the start. Who knows?

Advise for anyone in same place as me? ALWAYS have a solicitor present, do NOT assume as you've done nothing wrong IN YOUR VIEW there's no need. Then go home and write it all down

My barrister has already been able to identify major differences between her account of things and mine. Plus she's spotted inconsistences in the so called victim's own statement.

She's even noticed records state my interview lasted 50 mins but started at 9am and finished at 11.30am (???)

I feel totally sorry for those people who are physically assaulted. I really, really do. And I don't know the answer but I do know using a scattergun approach isn't it

I'll never trust anyone again. Ever.

[fighter]

She's even noticed records state my interview lasted 50 mins but started at 9am and finished at 11.30am (???)

the same thing was spotted by the barrister also with the interview of my partner and when we went to the last hearing; the barrister asked for a more accurate transcription of my partner's interview. It was a shorter transcription than the recording. I hope you have a good solicitor and barrister on your side.

[priory1234]

have an appointment with my solicitor's court manager soon and I assume my barrister so have written down a string of things to ask. feel like I'm running my own defence!

I'm sure that's not true cos my barrister has a good reputation. But it's hard to trust anybody now.

After this is over I've decided I don't want to be a newly qualified PE teacher! Got no chance if found guity anyway. Dosn't matter if I'm found not guilty cos if it makes local papers I'll be finished in education.

Instead I'll use degree to get second degree in law and qualify as solicitor. Guess which part of law I want to specialise in?? Yep. Spot on!

[fighter]

well that is something positive that comes out of this experience. Unfortunately you have to have a barrister and solicitor be your defense team. They would know how to deal with the case. I hope they are specialist in false allegation. You can be proactive though as most people in the forum would advise. You can read the threads on the falsely accused of rape forum and you will see more cases similar to yours and how they dealt with it.