Hi all. i feel like i am going to be here for a while.

[River2005]

hi members of daftmoo.

i was a recent victim of a rape by a guy who i thought was my friend. i knew him for over 7 years and he did it a week before my birthday back on march 14th 2011.

i don't understand why he would do such a thing because he has a girlfriend of 4 years and a daughter who is 2 this year. i am still in shock.

i do not know much about the legal system but i have been obsessing about what is going to happen. will the CPS take it to court or not. will he get away with it? even if he is convicted will he get a pitiful sentence say under 5 years.

too many questions i am asking myself and i feel like i am going crazy.

i am glad i have found somewhere that may be of comfort in helping me find some of the answers that i need.

i also have another historical child abuse case going on as well. i dont know if i can cope with 2 sexual offences at the same time, the child abuser has denied all charges and i have a feeling this "friend" will do it too.

and to be honest a he said vs she said is the last thing i need right now.

Joon

[Phoenix]

Joon, nobody knows why guys do things like this.

I was raped at 18 by a bloke I'd thought was a friend and even now, 12 years later, I still haven't come to terms with it properly.

For years I blamed myself and felt dirty, ashamed and even suicidal.

What I'll tell you is that the people here are good, kind, caring and sympathetic folk. When I first joined I was still in denial and I thought I'd get banned. Instead they just showed me sensitivity, understanding and didn't judge or condemn me.

That helped me to see things differently.

Joon, rape hurts you inside and I'm not sure if you ever get over it.

If you want to talk the folks here are good people and they'll listen to you and be supportive and try to give you practical advice as well as emotional strength.

Please hang in there - don't get down on yourself like I did.

Love

Phoenix (I rose up from the ashes of pain and despair)

[friday]

Hi Joon,

Glad you found us and hope we can help. The criminal justice system is a mess, justice isn't always done and if you can bear that in mind then it will help prepare you for the worst if the cases don't go your way. I went to court twice to try get justice when I was raped (it was a hung jury the first time). When he was found not guilty I was devestated and fell apart but now I hang onto the fact I did everything I could to try get justice. Even going through the legal process shows great strength on your part and will shake the people who did it to you and maybe make them think twice before doing it again.

If there is one piece of advice I wish I had been given it would be to view the process of reporting, court etc as closure for myself rather than trying to protect the world from a monster. It will drag up so many emotions and memories and you will need to have people to support you because things get really tough. Forget feeling damaged, it breaks you but once you are broken you can begin piecing yourself back together but a much stronger version of your former self.

I hope you can see how strong and brave you are.
x