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**Verity** · 31 March 2011, 11:31 PM

Welcome!

Hello W & C,

First of all, try not to panic, which is the hardest thing not to do.
Take a little time to read the experiences of other members, as this will help to put things in perspective for you and will give you some pointers as to how to take control and manage the false allegation against you.

When you feel able, let us know what has happened without putting any identifying names, places etc.
You will be suprised just how much in common your case has with other members cases.

By contributing you will find you are not alone even though you feel very alone and have become part of a huge community who are victims falsely accused and their families.

Others will be along soon to welcome you.

V xxx

**Worriedandconfused** · 1 April 2011, 11:19 AM

Hi Verity,

Thanks for your support. I'll post full details tonight but I am concerned that she's smart enough to find this website so I'm just gonna have to be careful about what I say. I felt awful at first but I don't feel to bad now.

One thing I did though when first arrested was bring my phone to the interview which the police then seized. I did this in good faith as I have nothing to hide and the texts I have are quite overwhelming evidence of my innocence. This worries me though from what I have read so far on the forum.

I'll post full details later

Cheers
W+C

**Worriedandconfused** · 1 April 2011, 07:59 PM

I was going out with a girl for x yrs who has made allegations of rape against me. I will let you know what has happened so far

I was initially arrested for criminal damage as my girlfriend and I had gone out for the night and we came back and had a row in which I punched a window (I admit this). In the pub she starts grabbing my groin as hard as she can and tells me she hates me and wants to date other men. I don’t react to this. She has treated me degradingly for months (telling me what time to go to bed, what to eat, what clothes to wear etc) in her house and I felt belittled as a man. In her statement to the police she stated I forced sex on her y times. When initially interviewed by police I was told by the duty solicitor, “you’re gonna come out of this with a caution.” The police officer at the time agreed and ticks the box for disposal of the case. They were both extremely supportive and reassured me that it was “odds on” nothing would happen.

I was called at work by police to tell me I was gonna be arrested for rape. I instantly start crying and leave work. I tell my solicitor who allows me to come in the next day. We discuss what is going to happen the following day when I surrender to police. I told him I have text messages on my phone which clear my name. My solicitor says he doesn’t want to see them yet and will see them on the day
In the interview with CID I am immediately on the back foot. The detective states dates which don’t mean much to me. I am not given any time to think and feel flustered. Police seize my phone instantly. They interview me and I confidently tell them I haven’t raped her. I genuinely know this and set my policy as telling them the truth.

I am due to go back in May. I have changed my solicitor to one close to mine (she + original solicitor are from about 40 miles away). I feel very upset and I am crying everyday. After the CID interview I come home and tell my family I am gonna jump off a building. I have told 2 of my closest friends and my immediate family but I am considering visiting a priest and telling him. Second solicitor again states the case is weak (no forensic evidence – her word against mine etc.)

I have lost the woman that I loved (I even told her I loved her the last night we were together despite all the bad things going on). I have also lost the social circle I had at hers and the relationship I had with her family.

My questions are
1. Who would be the best solicitor in my area to speak to (north west)? I don’t mind paying money
2. My friend who was close to her has offered to try and speak to her. Is there any way this is possible?
3. Please tell me the best course of action to take now

Thanks for your support
W+C

**Verity** · 1 April 2011, 10:25 PM

Take control now!!!

Hi W&C,

1. Your friend must not speak to your false accuser about the allegation.
Your accuser may go to the police and say you are trying to persuade her to drop the allegation and the police would then arrest you for indirect contact with 'the victim', witness intimidation, perverting the course of justice and God knows what else, even though nothing of the sort happened.
With weak cases don't put it beyond the police to pull any stunt to pin something on you in order to secure a conviction.

Keep well away from your accuser and have a recorder by your phone so in the event of her ringing you, you can record what she says. You say nothing.
Save all texts she sends you.

2. Until or unless you are charged solicitors arn't very interested.
They do not get any papers from plod until charge so there isn't much they can do.
They do not get paid unless you have asked them to represent you in the event of plod wanting to re-interview you.
It is a good idea to retain a solicitor in preperation for such an event.

Could you read other threads I have posted where I have given information of what paperwork you are entitled to from the police and the duty solicitor who represented you at the first interview.

3. Stop loving this woman. You have not lost the woman you loved.
She has betrayed you in the most vicious, vindictive and malicious way possible.
No woman who loves a man would inflict such a life devastating, soul destroying, terrifying accusation on him. Is she worthy of your love, your trust, or your respect?
Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers.
Be true to yourself.
Keep those who are important to you close to you.
Ditch those fair weather friends who desert you during this tempest.
Do not waste your emotional energy on this woman. Use that energy in the fight for your future life.
If I sound harsh, mayhap I am, but it is not towards you it is towards my own gender of whom I am abjectly ashamed of and disgusted with.
These women are causing irrepairable damage for male/female trust respect etc and it is going to be to the detriment of women in general.

The key to this is: What is her motive for making this false allegation?
What will she gain by making this false allegation?
(Financial? Revenge for a perceived slight? To cover up her
misbehaviour?)

Find the motive and you find the truth.

Bet you never thought you would hear a woman speak such of her own gender!
I am seriously considering asking if I could be an honourary bloke!!!

As I said try not to panic, gather evidence that proves your innocence and proves she is a malicious liar.
V

Below are links to various organisations that may be of assistance to you :

www.unitedagainstinjustice.org.uk/ They have a list of support groups, one of which maybe in your area.

www.false-allegations.org.uk/ (FASO) they have a number you can ring and they may be able to give you a list of solicitors in your area who specialise in false allegations of this nature.

**Worriedandconfused** · 2 April 2011, 10:35 AM

Thanks Verity

This has all come as quite a shock to me. When you go out with someone for a long time your lives become bound together, her friends become your friends etc.
I thought I'd suffer being on my own again but I've found a freedom that I enjoy and I'm happy.

I'll try and address your points

1. Fair comment - I thought this would be what would happen. He's quite a sensible person so he wouldn't do anything unless I told him to. I volunteered my phone to the police in the first interview which I now realise is not the best thing to do.

2. The solicitors did send me a letter stating what happened in the interview. These contained brief notes made by the solicitor representing me. The police have stated I can ring up and find out whether I am gonna be charged closer to the date. Is this the norm???

3. You are right I just feel very hurt and a part of my life has gone forever. It is for me to build a new life after this. I have a good idea why she's done this but I'll have a think and start writing stuff down.

Thanks for your help

**doubletake** · 5 April 2011, 09:04 PM

Hello

Hello, this website will realy be a great help to you! please stay with us!

**Verity** · 5 April 2011, 09:18 PM

Well done doubletake, I have pm'd you
Verity

**doubletake** · 5 April 2011, 09:44 PM

Hi Jen

Hi Jen, got ure messege! let's hope u got my reply? x

**Worriedandconfused** · 6 April 2011, 11:11 AM

Thanks for your support. I'm going to see a different solicitor today who I've been told is a specialist one. Let's see what he says, if he thinks it's worthwhile to change over I will do

**Worriedandconfused** · 13 May 2011, 12:29 AM

Freedom

I was told yesterday I was gonna be charged but the police would not tell me with what. I assumed the worst, after 3 months they had found some impossible evidence on me and were gonna charge me with 3 counts of rape.

It was only at 12 today that I walked into the police station scared sh#tless and the first words the police said to me was it's good news. I was charged with criminal damage (I smashed a window after her telling me she has cheated on me + hated me). They never even mentioned the rape charge as even they realised how ridiculous it was.

I have got myself this far through belief I was innocent and the help of God. Mine was always a weak case of rape and I want to help others in this situation.

I have some questions

1. How the hell can I ever make sure this never happens again other than be celibate for the rest of my life

2. Is there anyway I can help/visit innocent people imprisoned by this horrible offence

3. Can I assist on the running of this forum without which I would have literally ended my own life

I wish you all the best of luck, I am free now with the help of you all and the Samaritans who have provided comfort to me

God bless you
Phil

**Casehardened** · 13 May 2011, 06:10 AM

Hello again Phil,

Thank you for posting an update, always great to hear of the 'right' result

(it's rather ironical that you are so relieved at 'only' being charged with criminal damage, but of course we all understand where you're coming from)

Reading of your story from start to finish will help to calm those who are still in limbo while waiting for a decision from the CPS.

**Saffron** · 13 May 2011, 10:31 AM

Hi Phil

Great news that the rape charges have been dropped.
The best way to help out on this site is to keep coming back and offering support to others who find themselves in the same situation. Hope we will see more of you in the future!

LS · 13 May 2011, 01:02 PM

Hi Phil

Super news that it's been dropped, and they saw through the lies.

My advice would be to take a few weeks' break from all of this just to let it sink in. As others have said, just coming back here is an inspiration to others that it can be gotten through, and your story from start to finish is here for others to read too.

If you really feel like you want to visit/help people in this situation (apart from being a part of this forum) you could always become a Prison Visitor for people in your local prison. Many are dropped by friends and family in times like this, and a friendly face is always a good thing for a lonely inmate to see.

best wishes
LS

**Verity** · 13 May 2011, 07:56 PM

I should think so too!!!

Verity x

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