hiya :)

[worrieddaughter]

hi all,

i have just registered having spent the last 2 days reading all the post, i am so impressed by the level of support and knowledge that certain users have and share, and thought, you know what i want in on that!

As stated in my user name i am a worried daughter although worried doesn't quite cut it, the emotions felt when supporting somebody who has been wrongly accused are indescribable, as are I'm sure the feelings someone has who has been wrongly accused, any way I'm rambling.

I just thought id say hi to an amazing bunch of people who are really strong and brave, your real credits to yourselves, i am disgusted to realise how many of these cases go as far as they do and sympathise deeply for those hero's and their families that have been raped or wrongly accused of such vial behaviour.

My step dad was wrongly accused of raping his biological daughter and arrested in dec 2010, he was then released on bail, during which time my mum, myself along with close family friends were interviewed, he answered bail 4 weeks later (after a cruddy christmas) and was bailed again, hes due to answer bail weds 9th march and i am so worried, its so close yet too far away.

I guess why i'm here is because i had a daughter in the July before he was arrested and have noticed that he is un-knowingly (and understandably) distant with her, how can i help him trust again for his and my families sake?

thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings and i'm sorry we meet on such an awful topic, any advise would be greatly appreciated

[LS]

Hi WorriedDaughter and welcome.

I would just say that the bail date timeline is perhaps early days. Being on bail and waiting for a decision can often take many months, as you've probably seen here. On the one hand it can be seen as good that it's taking so long - that it's not an open-and-shut case - but on the other, it's anguish no one needs. I'd suggest expect around 6months for a decision, and anything sooner is a bonus.

As for his being distant with your daughter, I think many can relate to that. Just being in this situation on its own makes you question the integrity of others, the unfair system, but it also makes you realise the harm others can cause. I'd like to say time is a healer, but I've found it's not, although that's got to be different for everyone.

Certainly while he's on bail, he's bound to want to avoid anything to do with children, but I suspect it's an act of self-preservation; no one can accuse, plus no doubt he's really self-conscious. The SS also like to make an appearance when there are child relatives and demand no contact in sexual offence cases, so if that happens then it's not going to come as a huge shock to him if he hasn't really bonded.

One just has to hope for a good outcome and that the case will be NFA'd.

[worrieddaughter]

Hello LS,
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
This may sound wrong but whilst he's on bail I'm finding life bareable, (don't get me wrong we have had a fight on our hands to prove his innocents, despite holes in my step sister's statement and lack of witnesses, he's had to fight to keep his job n pin num. as he's an RGN). But for the pure fact that our lives are on hold. Its the picking up the peices and 'continuing' life where we left off and as normal that scares me.
My parents live in a different town to me. So contact is minamal which maybe why I haven't seen or heard from the SS, but thank you for the heads up
:-) x