The Knock

[298]

Guessing many of you will know what I am talking about, but if you don't....

Once upon time there was a knock on my door.

It was the police and as you know its the start of a traumatic time, your life is immediately turned upside down and at the point you have no idea what is going to happen next.
For some of us we will not see 'home' again from some time. We loose any ability of self determination, we are processed, for the first time in our lives we are arrested photographed fingerprinted and locked in a cell.

Time moves on lies are exposed and in time we return to normality. We have a heightened sensitivity towards rape & false accusation, we are more careful in our lives,
I'm sure we all get on with life in our own way.

Now my problem is that I can't open my front door if I'm home on my own and someone knocks.
I freeze and panic before I am able to think my way back to a sensible response (like opening the f'in door!)
There is no reason its not going to be the post or gas but before my brain engages I am right back to 'that' day.
Sometimes I can open the door others I can't I just wait till they go away.

I can see the funny side of this but its a absolute pain when it happens!

To get round it I have fitted a bell and a camera so its not a knock and I can see who it is

But some b*****s still knock!


Is it just me on this one?

[Casehardened]

Yes indeed, I agree that anyone who has been subjected to such an allegation will suffer after effects to some degree, perhaps for ever.

PSTD is frequently mentioned in news items as a explanation for otherwise out of character acts and perhaps this is also the case for us?

I didn't actually get a 'knock' (and that is another story in itself!) but can relate to your feelings about history repeating itself in that some years ago the local newspaper ran a report about a schoolgirl being sexually assaulted on the land behind my property. I immediately assumed that, because of my history on the police computer system, squad cars would shortly arrive to collect me for further interrogation.

In hindsight that was a nonsensical thing to worry about as, if it was going to happen, the visit would have been long before the article was published!

[Pond31]

I hate delieveroo

The second time I was arrested there was a big knock on my door and the police arrived with a search warrant. I was in an extremely bad place anyway and this made things worse. So after returning home for months afterwards any knock on the door would cause me great anxiety. Unfortunately my housemate lived on takeaway food so nearly every evening there was a knock at the door from a delievroo guy on a bike. Fecking barsteward should have cooked his own food lazy git.

Pond31

[298]

Thats the daft think I really don't think that the police will call, never did anything wrong and they know it.

Thankfully I doubt very much they would waste their time even if something happened locally.

But that knock produces a full on instant fight flight response every 'kin time!

Very fed up with it

[Peter1975]

I think anyone that has been subjected to the knock when they have done nothing wrong is going to have a hard time forgetting and moving on, it's a traumatic and bewildering experience and as CH wisely states, symptoms of PTSD are likely to persist for some time.

Rest assured though, that these symptoms will lessen over time and you will reach a point where you can make a choice; either to be confined in a place that someone else has designed for you or a place that is entirely in your power to move on to.

It is no accident that these groups have very few active members ( Daftmoo has over 3000 members, only a fraction of whom still bother to post ) - Moving on is the only healthy thing to do and most achieve it

At some point, the accusations will become a distant memory and there will be a day that you realise that you haven't even noticed the cloud hanging over you.

There is no shame in talking to your doctor or a respected charity such as MIND and getting some counselling/ help in the meantime.

Remember that you have a duty to yourself and those that care for you to get past this - there are thousands of cases that prove that you can

[Helpless & confused]

I know exactly what you mean. It's 7 months now since I got my NFA.

I have a strange preoccupation now with cars pulling up outside my house. If I'm in & I hear a car pull up outside now, I often listen out for the doors closing. If I hear one door close, I relax, on the basis that Police procedures always require them to come in pairs when conducting a home visit. If I hear Two doors close...... begin to wonder. Completely irrational. Crazy even, but true nonetheless.

[298]

I know exactly what you mean. It's 7 months now since I got my NFA.

I have a strange preoccupation now with cars pulling up outside my house. If I'm in & I hear a car pull up outside now, I often listen out for the doors closing. If I hear one door close, I relax, on the basis that Police procedures always require them to come in pairs when conducting a home visit. If I hear Two doors close...... begin to wonder. Completely irrational. Crazy even, but true nonetheless.

Its an awful long time since I have had my meters read, one day the will get fed up of estimated readings!