Has anybody else felt like this?

[Happy mum]

I posted on here the other week after my son got no further action, after being elated he has now said he feels down. Has anybody else felt like this?

[Rights Fighter]

It's perfectly normal for the abnormal situation his is in. No doubt you have ups and downs too although probably not as bad as he is experiencing. He could be sat in a prison cell and no doubt that is going through his mind, as well as "why lie about me?"

Maybe a trip to his GP to ask if he can have some counselling, to talk it through?

[Happy mum]

Thanks for the reply

I have booked an appointmentment for him to be seen by a really lovely caring doctor, I hope that he can get an emergency councillor and not have to wait weeks for one x

[can it get worse]

I think this is a normal reaction. We felt we were running on our adrenalin during our experience. After the NG - I am still shocked to have been a victim of a FA.

I hope his appt works well and he start to try to put it behind him. Best Wishes.

[joe_3178]

If the wait time is long for a counsellor, might be worth looking at private costs (not sure how much this is likely to be, but perhaps worth considering as would be v. quick)

[lawlessone2009]

Everything against me ended in August 2013...

Everyday I spend time focusing on suicide.

I can't avoid it.

Little things in life like a song, a word, a certain food/flavour, someones conversation, a road, a building... Anything at all really, subtly reminds me of the hell I went through. Some days I can brush it off, other days I genuinely want to give in.

When the lies against me were penned to paper back in 2011 I was long(ish) term unemployed. When things were put to bed at the end of 2012 I took a few months to recover and then managed to motivate myself enough (with help and pressure, also, from the Work Programme) to get gainful employment doing something that was getting me back on my feet and providing a future. The prosecution decided to 're-raise' proceedings against me in May 2013...

I went downhill pretty fast after that. By mid-July I was unemployed again, by the beginning of August I was standing in the dock in the High Court in Edinburgh for a day whilst my Advocate appealed the re-raising of proceedings.

Every piece of evidence was put before the 3 High Court judges. Every single stone was turned over and thoroughly analysed. After a break that lasted forever the 3 judges dismissed the proceedings against me, ripped the prosecutor to pieces and provided a damning view of their position.

The actual findings that they arrived at took a long time to read out and I was bouncing up and down on every word trying to figure out what their conclusions would be. When I finally arrived at my own conclusion that they were finding in my favour I still did not want to get my hopes up. I stood throughout (I think...). As they came to the last paragraph of their reading I could feel the pressure building within me. As they finished their reading I had to stand until they vacated their seats and began to leave the room at which point I had to leave the room in a hurry. I simply burst out crying. My parents comforted me as best they could and my Advocate and his lady friend were a little questioning of why I was crying but they did understand it.

I suppose when it's all over you're somehow expected to be happy, to pick things up and get the hell on with life. It just doesn't happen. Being wronged to such a degree, to be stripped of your life and your thoughts... It just doesn't work.

I have at times wanted to kill myself so badly that I've actually had to laugh at the stupidity of it to attempt to snap out of it. It has worked so far. Nothing has gotten any easier. I can't work, I can't concentrate. I can work but it takes a LOT of time and exhausts me. I cannot possibly work in any 'commercial' sense, can't basically work for money. I can't face claiming any form of benefit from the Government, it'd be a slip too far backwards and would also expose me to the current draconian benefits system. I refuse to be part of Government or their mechanisms.

Outwardly I can appear fine but inwardly I'm dead already. I keep looking for pick-me-ups full of positivity but any relief is short lived and I can't get any real satisfaction from them. If it wasn't for my partner and daughter I would have killed myself already. The thing is, I often find myself wondering 'when' I should kill myself. I'm trying to guess ages that my daughters should be before I do it. Should I do it now while they're young or should I wait until they're older and better placed in life? I don't discuss it with my partner, I doubt she even has a suspicion. She most likely thinks things are kind of normal and I've returned to the stubborn useless ass that I was before and using the whole thing as some kind of self justification for being a lazy bum...

The aftermath is horrendous. I keep thinking to reach out for help but I know that I'm never going to get it. I'm never going to get resolution. There does not exist a person on earth that can remove the carnage inside my head and smooth it all over.

Show your boy this posting. Get him to share his thoughts and feelings with you.

[Casehardened]

I've often written that these are life-changing events (in a permanent sense) but until you mentioned it in the previous post it has never occurred to me how this will affect work and careers.

I suppose this is because, while I wasn't quite a pensioner at the time, I hadn't then been in full-time work for quite a while, and now of course am well out of the job market.

Its been fairly well documented by members how an accusation affects current employment but not much has been said what happens post NFA/NG if it is necessary to resume or seek a new career.

Depending on what the accusation was: do you avoid women/children; do you disclose the accusation; if you don't disclose, how do you cope if the subject comes up in conversation.....can you actually concentrate on work at all while worrying about a possible future accusation.....the pitfalls and worries are mind-blowing.

Thanks for sharing this and maybe folks will be able to respond with their coping stratagems.