I don't know what to do

[Rose123]

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now but we have been friends all our lives a few months ago he raped me for the first time an after I found my self comforting him an trying to stop him being upset even though I didn't want to be near him and he promised never to do it again . After that he raped me many more times and did things to hurt me but I kept quiet an pretended I was ok then a few weeks ago it all got to much for me as it is all I can think about and we had a row an he begged me not to leave him and sed he would kill himself if he didn't have me . Three days ago my contraceptive pills went missing an then the day after my boyfriend convinced me to have sex with him and after he asked if i want a baby with him an when I sed maybe I don't know he told me he had already cummed in me three times which I didnt notice as I now block out sex . I don't know what to do as I could now be pregnant an I'm not sure if I even want to be with him as I am scared of him even worse I trusted him as he knew I was abused as a child an am very nervouse about having a sexual relationship. Please if anyone has any advise for me I would be so grateful please

[Lucky]

Go to the police.

[myhome]

Hi and welcome and so sorry to read this - a dreadful experience for you.

You need to search for a rape crisis centre near you who will have professionally trained people to help you. You also need to go to the police...See your GP and explain you may be pregnant and ask for a pregnancy test. If it's negative that's great. If it's positive you need to have someone ie your GP with you when you find out so they can support you and begin to advise you what your options are...In fact I would suggest you go to your GP first as s/he will be able to give you details for the nearest rape crisis centre....

If your "boyfriend" is blackmailing by saying he will kill himself if you leave him - that's all it is - blackmail and he is trying to put a guilt trip on you. If you leave and he kills himself, though that is sad, IT IS NOT your responsibility. HE will have made the ultimate decision, and HE will have done the ultimate act - not you. He is also quite able to NOT make the decision to kill himself.

Do you have a best girl friend that you can take into your confidence who "suddenly" asks you to spend the weekend with her just while you have some breathing space and start to make plans for rebuilding your life? Or your parents or family? You need to protect your own safety. If you don't want to go to the police you or your friend can ring 999 and say, "I want to make a Safeguarding Alert." Use those exact words and you will get an IMMEDIATE response and things will swing into motion and everything possible will be done by them to protect you, keep you safe and keep your "boyfriend" away from you. (I know this because I have done that exact thing for a client of mine).

This person does not deserve to have you anywhere near him. He has no right to blackmail or abuse you...

Be strong babe and do this as soon as you can......Come back and post again and we'll help again.....MH

[Rose123]

thankyou

Thankyou for the advise but I don't want to go to the police an I don't have any friends to talk to and I'm to ashamed to tell my family an they might not believe me as they love his and see him as part of the family

[myhome]

Your GP has to be the one you see. No-one will know why you've gone to see him/her and they are bound by very strict confidentiality codes. They can direct you to a rape crisis centre. This is not an issue that is going to go away on its own and what you have suffered is horrendous and no-one should ever be subjected to anything like this. Rape is never ever the victim's fault and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.....