Is this grooming?

[shockedlad]

I have a question:

A 16 year old girl takes a fancy to a guy 10 years older.
She is aware of the age gap as parents have same gap.

She tells her friends she likes him, and soon adds him on MSN.
They chat about casual stuff, music etc.

It turns into a good friendship of chatting online/texting daily, she lets him know she likes him. Over time he likes her too.
She doesn't tell her parents because they wouldn't approve of the gap.

Like all relationships, they hang out, give each other gifts etc.

This close relationship continues for a few years and is good.

Mother eventually finds out, kills the relationship, says the guy groomed her.

My question is, is that grooming (if she was the chaser)?

[Faith]

No, not in law, unless the man had a position of trust over the girl (ie he was a teacher)

In terms of personal opinion it's open to debate.

[lonley place]

If we are debating this here's my humble opinion....No its not grooming.
The girl is 16 anyway so would know what she was doing...The man would only have to decide
if he was willing to enter a relationship with some one younger

[shockedlad]

Say the girl was a compulsive liar and for the sake of covering all bases, what if she was a few months short of being 16 but told the guy she was 16+?

[Faith]

Every case is different but on the limited information available, if the gentleman concerned could reasonably be expected to know she was underage then it could be considered grooming. If she was below 16 but there was no way he could have known that, then he would have a defence.

[shockedlad]

Thanks for the replies. The 'he' is me.

Also I can prove in chat logs that I encouraged her many times to tell her parents about us, it was her wish not to. Surely that holds some ground against the grooming accusation. Is that what groomers do?

Posted my story here
http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...y-will-to-live

[Lucky]

you say it went on for a few years, so i assume its resolved now ?

[shockedlad]

Well her mother convinced her I was some kind of predator (despite the fact I wasn't interested at first and her daughter worked very hard to get my interest), even threw a fake rape accusation in there to push me off.

My ex is now engaged to the fella she was cheating on me with for the past 6 months of our relationship.

Just waiting on karma to sort them all out...

[Lucky]

Well her mother convinced her I was some kind of predator (despite the fact I wasn't interested at first and her daughter worked very hard to get my interest), even threw a fake rape accusation in there to push me off.

My ex is now engaged to the fella she was cheating on me with for the past 6 months of our relationship.

Just waiting on karma to sort them all out...

jeez, looks like you got out of a bad thing, just in time.

and oh yes, karma, lovely thing