Free speech and open discussion????????

[Verity]

I wish it to be noted on open forum that I am appalled at what has transpired in regard to the departure of Charlie T, the manner of his departure
and the fact that us mere members and fellow discussers of his thread were in no way consulted or given the opportunity to express our views on what we wanted, by dint of the thread being closed thus depriving us of any opportunity in that regard.
A letter of protest is being submitted to the forum owners.
VJ

[RFLH]

sorry you feel that way Verity - each to their own.

I'm far more worried about people who may have been too frightened to post the last few days.

Please feel free to set your own site up where you can campaign to your hearts desire. This forum is for people looking for advice and empathy.

[worriedandconcerned]

sorry you feel that way Verity - each to their own.

I'm far more worried about people who may have been too frightened to post the last few days.

Please feel free to set your own site up where you can campaign to your hearts desire. This forum is for people looking for advice and empathy.

Hi RFLH

Is this what the owners of the site have said the site is for or is it yourself as discussion about how we are or have been treated is relevant to the site discussion I would have thought ?
I know when I was going through this I was thankful to those who prepared me for what to expect.

[worriedandconcerned]

This is the site title which says it all really doesn't it ?

People's Concerns: Support & Discussion Forums

Welcome to the People's Concerns: Support & Discussion Forums.

[Saffron]

Verity
Charlie T has not been banned. If he has made the decision to leave, that was entirely his own choice and not one imposed upon him by any of the moderators.
He has been a member for four days and at my last count earlier today he had written 52 posts during that period. That means that on average he has posted 15 times a day. I have absolutely no problem with that at all. His thread was closed at his own request.
However, this forum exists for those who find themselves falsely accused of rape and for those who are genuine survivors of rape. We deal with exceptionally sensitive, emotive issues. The threads are essentially conversations between groups of people, all here to support each other.
I am sure that, as an intelligent, erudite individual, you would never dream of overhearing a conversation and then barging in with your own opinions, taking it over and removing the focus from the people who were involved in the conversation because they were asking for guidance and support.
Unfortunately that seems to be what has happened here.
As I said earlier, if Charlie T had been a little more sensitive we would not be in this situation. As it is, I have spent the day dealing with him and the fall-out from his posts. Other regular members have been noticeable by their absence, possibly just trying to avoid the confrontation.

As for your letter to the forum owners - thanks for that, I am pleased you did it. I have no doubt that I will see what you have written soon, mainly because Phil and Jo have a huge amount on their plate already, and I know we have their full support. They trust us implicitly. They fund this site out of their own pocket, for which most people are very grateful.

Finally, please don't ever refer to yourself as a "mere member". Everyone who contributes in a responsible and thoughtful way is welcomed with open arms. You know this yourself, having found us via the other forum. What we will not tolerate is being shouted down for asking others to be a little gentler.

[Verity]

sorry you feel that way Verity - each to their own.

Instead of feeling sorry that I (and I'm not the only one by a long chalk) 'feel that way' mayhap you should be asking Why I 'feel that way.

I'm far more worried about people who may have been too frightened to post the last few days.
Who may, not were.
There was nothing in Charlie T's posts that was untrue, intended to scare etc, etc.
He made apologies and began a discussion thread that people had the choice to read or not as the case may be.

Please feel free to set your own site up where you can campaign to your hearts desire. This forum is for people looking for advice and empathy.

Why is it when a difference of opinion is mooted the stock answer is: "Please feel free to set your own site up where you can campaign to your hearts desire?"

Are you telling us that valid, open salient discussion is not permitted just in case it upsets someone?
We have all been upset and terrified and wished to God we did not have to fight to have people be honest with us at the outset of our nightmare.

"This forum is for people looking for advice and empathy".
Our understanding is that THIS forum is not only for people looking for advice and empathy but is for those who have and continue to offer advice, support and empathy as well as having confidence in having the freedom to discuss and exchange experiences without fear of verbal attack or veiled threat of thread closure, censure or ban from the forum.

Ergo the forum strapline: People's concerns support and discussion forum.

[Verity]

Verity
Charlie T has not been banned. If he has made the decision to leave, that was entirely his own choice and not one imposed upon him by any of the moderators.
He has been a member for four days and at my last count earlier today he had written 52 posts during that period. That means that on average he has posted 15 times a day. I have absolutely no problem with that at all.
However, this forum exists for those who find themselves falsely accused of rape and for those who are genuine survivors of rape. We deal with exceptionally sensitive, emotive issues. The threads are essentially conversations between groups of people, all here to support each other.
I am sure that, as an intelligent, erudite individual, you would never dream of overhearing a conversation and then barging in with your own opinions, taking it over and removing the focus from the people who were involved in the conversation because they were asking for guidance and support.
Unfortunately that seems to be what has happened here.
As I said earlier, if Charlie T had been a little more sensitive we would not be in this situation. As it is, I have spent the day dealing with him and the fall-out from his posts. Other regular members have been noticeable by their absence, possibly just trying to avoid the confrontation.

As for your letter to the forum owners - thanks for that, I am pleased you did it. I have no doubt that I will see what you have written soon, mainly because Phil and Jo have a huge amount on their plate already, and I know we have their full suppport. They trust us implicitly. They fund this site out of their own pocket, for which most people are very grateful.

Finally, please don't ever refer to yourself as a "mere member". Everyone who contributes in a responsible and thoughtful way is welcomed with open arms. You know this yourself, having found us via the other forum. What we will not tolerate is being shouted down for asking others to be a little gentler.

I have not said he was banned. He has in effect been hounded out.

[RFLH]

Verity, you can discuss to your hearts content as long as its done on your own threads and don't do it on other peoples - their threads are for their problems, not for someone to beat them over their heads with what they think they ought to be doing.

Please feel free to carry on the discussion in my absence, but should it denegrate into pointless bickering, sniping and back-biting - I shall take it upon myself to pull it. Being an all powerful mod .....


And that is the end of my discussion with you over this matter.

[Stronger Together]

Hello,


I did not want to see Charlie T go but if the people who run this website feel some of the postings could be putting people off using the site then we have to respect that. I am new to this site and could be seen as a little green. But I have been put through the ordeal of being F.A and anyone that is in the same state I was in when this happened to me must come first. I posted my first thread as I think we do need a voice out there and I still see it as a good chance for us to be heard. But I would never lose sight of the fact that there are people on here (the F.A) in a very vulnerable position right now and need all the help they can get.

Kind Regards

S.T

[Saffron]

OK Verity.
I'm sorry that you can only find that one point of my reply to argue with.
Banning someone is a group decision which we only do if we all all agree. Your dear friend CHarlie T has been repeatedly asked to tone down his posts and he (and you) have completely ignored us.

I have had enough of this and quite frankly I can do without it.
I have tried to be reasonable throughout the course of today and have met with nothing but schoolkid retorts such as "Am I missing something?" and "Is there something I don't see?" (Yes of COURSE there is! Otherwise there would be no need for moderators would there?) and finally "I have not said he was banned" Oh VJ, you have missed your calling. You should be a bloodsucking CPS barrister.
At no goddamn point has anyone actually read and taken on board the responses that I have taken a considerable chunk of my time to write. (which incidentally costs me money as I get paid by the hour)
Well **** it. This is NOT what I signed up for. For many years, since 2003, this site has been amazing for me, a source of genuine comfort and kindness at my darkest hours and yet you feel you can hijack it and tell me I'm the ****ing monster?

[worriedandconcerned]

The problem with being an all powerful mod is that if you destroy freedom of speech you will end up modding just yourselves as its the members who make a forum.
For the record I think this is a great forum with great mods but I don't like seeing members being bullied off of here just because they wont have the same viewpoint as yourselves.

[Faith]

I feel I must remind certain members exactly what this website and the people who give up their free time to run it has done for them. Had some of you not found it, you would no doubt be in a very different position than you are now.

This is a support and discussion forum, as WAC correctly points out. When things get to the stage where the moderating team are beset with messages from intimidated members and members of the moderating team are being personally attacked and made to feel inadequate, that is not support nor discussion.

You all have eachothers contact details, please desist from making what is a wonderful and helpful community and concoct your plans and schemes on your own.

There are people coming here feeling suicidal, terrified and just looking for understanding, not a debate, an argument or huge lengthy posts derailing threads.
You all know what that feels like and I am frankly surprised at some who are behaving in such a way (though not so surprised by others)


Feel free to write to the admin, you have every right to do that. In the meantime, they have placed their trust in their moderating team to look after the site in their absence. So in that capacity, I am closing this thread and repeating that if such behaviour (which is in direct contravention to the terms of the site). then offending members should not be given any further opportunity to put off vulnerable people from seeking help. Any further hassle like this can only result in members being banned, which we avoid doing at all costs.

I refuse to see my friends and others left upset. That is enough.

[Saffron]

Really, WAC? All Powerful Mod?
We are mods because we have made considered, thoughtful and reasoned contributions. Not because we barged in with blazing guns and then complained about free speech.
Think about it.

[webmoo]

I would like to add a note of support to my moderators. They give up a huge amount of their time for this site and I support them. Everyone gets a bit upset from time to time. Everyone needs to blow off steam. Everyone needs a rant. I'm happy to allow rants and steam-vents etc on here, that's part of what we are about, but above all else we are here as a support and discussion forum.

We have rules. I suggest everyone on here who has been part of this argument please read them:
http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/f...#faq_fullrules

I'd especially like to highlight the section that states:

Try to be helpful in what you post. Feel free to disagree, but disagree with the post, not the person. "I think you have made a mistake, or you possibly don't understand - This is what I think..." is great! "Shut up you idiot - you are talking rubbish" is bad. Constructive criticism is what forums are for. Destructive critisism is what warnings and edit functions are for.

With regards to the moderator team, if you have a problem with them, they are still bound by the rules themselves and I am happy to ask them to tone things down if needed. I am the site owner and am the ultimate "buck stops here". So, if you have a genuine problem with any of the moderators, please contact me via Private Message and I promise I will treat any complaint fairly.

I will ask for their side of the story - it's unfair not to. I do support them - they are fantastic. They do slip up - they are human. They do need to blow off steam too - they are human and have personal experience of the issues discussed here in one way or another. They are bound by the rules - so is everyone, but lastly I'd like to highlight that without them, this site would be closed.


Ok, as Faith said (thanks Faith), that's enough. Let's all calm down and have a cup of tea. And maybe a biscuit. A chocolate one. You can even have a slice of cake. But not a mince pie. I've had too many of those already.