Advice needed!

[Saffron]

She even withholds her number when she calls me!
RF, you are right. I will talk to a couple of people about it to safeguard me and my little family.

Thanks everyone

[RFLH]

How's things with this situation Saffron?

[Saffron]

Well, I took RFs advice and mentioned my concerns to a couple of people. They seemed to agree that her behaviour is a little odd. So at least I have "logged" it.

She called round with a birthday present for my son last month, and for my daughter this month. She has also offered to feed the cats when we are on holiday. (hmmm, I don't think so!) She hasn't aked to "borrow" anything else since the last requests for money and wine.

Then the other day she told me that she is moving house, but I suspect this was a ploy to try and get me to say "oh no, please don't!". Of course I didn't say that - her moving away would be absolutely ideal. Although she would still be working at the Preschool.

On the whole things have been pretty quiet. She did ask me if I could look after her daughter for a couple of hours while she went to see her therapist. Unfortunately I couldn't, but if it meant her getting to see her therapist I would have been happy to do so.

So, I am keeping out of her way, and being polite but distant. I think that's the best way. Thanks for asking!

[RFLH]

That sounds positive and good for you for sticking with it.

[Rights Fighter]

How old is the daughter and is she suggestible? I'd be thinking twice about being alone with a child of that woman's to be perfectly honest.

[Saffron]

The daughter is 6 and rather precocious. I tend to avoid her unless absolutely necessary, and R won't be left alone with her at all. Although that is the case with any female of any age as far as he is concerned.

[Rights Fighter]

It's not worth the risk Saffron. I wouldn't babysit this child due to the mother's mental health problems.

The US McMartin Indictment was started by a woman with mental health problems who was convinced her son had been sexually abused by the family........

[witsend]

Don't know if it's something you could consider but we installed a basic cctv camera on the front of our house (got it from LARGE d.i.y. store) that way we can see who is coming to the house. Admittedly we are lucky enough to have picture in picture on our tele, means we can watch tv and, if needs be must, monitor the outside world all at the same time. Must say that the cctv images are more interesting than progs on tv at times. You don't have to connect it to video recorder unless you want to.

[Saffron]

Thanks Witsend and everyone else.
Feeling a little fragile today

[RFLH]

ohh - hope you feel a bit cheerier soon.

[witsend]

thinking of you

[Saffron]

She's done it again!

Right. I live in a small market town where the town square is the axis of the community. It has shops, cafes, cashpoint, etc.

So anyway, I went to the bank this afternoon to do a very rare thing - pay in a couple of cheques. On my way out I used the cashpoint to withdraw some cash...the bank is the one I have my account with, so I tend to use that cashpoint to avoid withdrawal charges. I tend to withdraw quite a lot at each visit (usually £200), and then keep some at home and some in my wallet. As I was taking my cash from the machine, I turned around and there she was. I said hello, she said hello and asked how I was. I said something like "Oh you know, glad it's Friday" and carried on walking back to the car where my kids were.

Got home about 4pm and poured myself a glass of wine. I then took a work call, and was having a conversation with a client when the doorbell went. I opened the door and there she was. I mimed to her that I couldn't talk, waved and turned my back, expecting her to go back over the road to her own house. But when I turned round she had walked into my house and was standing in the hall waiting for me!

After a couple of mins I finished my work call and said hello to her. She started to cry and said that her benefits had been temporarily suspended due to her having worked more than 16 hours a week and that her account had been frozen and she had no access to money, and tomorrow was the birthday of a friend of her daughter and she had to buy a present and card and pleeeease could I lend her £20?

I didn't know what to say. She had seen me withdraw £200 cash about half an hour earlier, so how could I refuse her? I told her that I was strapped for cash myself (which is true) and that I need the money back by Monday.

WHY hasn't she moved, like she said she was going to? GGGRRRRR...Will I ever see that £20 note again? WHAT can I do? I am soooo frustrated and p1ssed off.

Sorry for rant.

[Rights Fighter]

Too late now but next time you say "I can't lend you anything as I am always strapped for cash and the money you have just seen me draw out I owed to somebody else and I have now paid off the debt......."

[LS]

Ditto to that. Saffron, you're too nice for your own good.

[Casehardened]

Been in that very same position myself Saffron, where I'm been asked for a loan and know I'm not going to get it back.

I just take the view that I will lend as little as I can get away with (not necessarily what they ask for) with that being my bottom line i.e. I will never have to lend/give them any more.

If she's got the cheek to ask again you can just say that you're still a bit short from the last time you lent her some.