probably a uselss post but i have moved!

[Saffron]

Hey Friday

Hope the sh!t that hit the fan has passed. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I can't do anything practical, like get your shopping in, but I have a perfectly good shoulder if you need it.

S x

[friday]

thanks. the **** hit the fan, now i just have to clean up the mess. im a little fragile at the moment. i made the mistake of starting my night out yesterday with a bottle of jd. the result? 12 stitches in my arm and hours spent freezing in a+e. im really struggling with my recent break up but it was what i wanted so why is it so hard to deal with? i don't know who i am anymore. ive done things recently that i would never have thought i could have done but unfortunately none of these things have been positive.

[RFLH]

I think that sometimes in life you have to reach your rock bottom before picking yourself up and starting over again. Put the past where it belongs and look to the future.

Many a time I've wanted to give up, but then all those that hoped I'd fail would have the ammo to fire at me - I refuse to give them that satisfaction.

So hoick up your socks, stick two fingers in the air and think positive, it will get better.

[friday]

hopefully things will improve soon. i made a rule that i wouldnt have alcohol in the house because i used to drink far too much. i thought i was over that and i'm not saying one night means i'm not, but it means i have to reinstate that rule. at least i now know that i cant keep alcohol in the house, i honestly believed i could just drink now and then. going to lay off the booze for a while until i think i can handle just socially drinking.

its hard to move forward when your past seems to be wherever you go. i dont want to go out when people i dont want to see seem to turn up wherever i go but i cant sit at home alone forever.

theres a song by the dresden dolls called truce. thats exactly how things feel right now. the break up has resulted in us having to divide friends, pubs, clubs... and people inevitably decided to read things into what happened for us to break up but i'm not coming out of it looking good. guess those friends arent really true friends though.

[RFLH]

Quite right, they aren't your friends at all, otherwise they would be there for you when the going got tough.

Good thinking about not keeping alcohol about - if its not there you can't drink it.

I should follow my own advice about chocolate - I shall soon be as round as I am high. In theory the weight I am I should be 9ft 6"!

[friday]

i can never get rid of all chocolate cos then i end up going to the shops and buying 3 packets of biscuits, ice cream etc and eating it all so its not in the house anymore. couldnt possibly throw the food away or, god forbid, eat it in moderation! i eat coco pops to get my sweet fix without resorting to biscuits and cake. it doesnt always work. especially when i make brownies and always seem to "accidently" make far too many.

i feel so rediculous saying i have issues with alcohol. its only been legal for me to drink for just under 2 years! i think i have one of those personalities that is drawn to excess. strangely i have never had a problem with drugs which people always seem to think are far more addictive than alky. anyway cant go back to drinking stupidly. too expensive and too destructive. no way in hell could i do my degree if i was drinking again and i have to hold on to the things i care about even if everything else around me is falling to pieces.

i guess thats one benefit of breaking up. i lost half a stone in 2 weeks on the breakup diet and have kept it off. if only i could do that when i actually try to diet! on the other hand the breakup diet has resulted in me eating only things can be microwaved/eaten cold. microwave chips for breakfast and ice cream for dinner is not exactly the healthiest of things. taste good though.

[RFLH]

Did the drink thing as teenager, donm't bother now. At my worst I was smoking 40 cigarettes a day, I woke up one morning and decided I really didn't lke them and haven't smoked again in over 20 years.

Nibbling rubbishy food is my downfall and I know the weight really isn't helping my health problems - but I love cooking and eating!!

[friday]

im not too bad with fags. 10ish a day most days and 20 on weekends but the sat before last i smoked 50 which was a bit mad.

im hoping a year of throwing my life away by drinking taught me it wasnt worth it. out of all the vices in the world i think chocolate is one of the better ones.

[frankgallagherwasere]

Live to fight another day

Hi there Friday, sorry about you recent trauma and glad to read your slowly sorting your life out - never an easy thing even when life is going your way !!

Nothing wrong with Chocolate and like all lifes luxuries should be taken in moderation - except everyones definition can be somewhat different. How is to tell someone else what is right and wrong when they themselves are not perfect.

As for escaping life and reality, its down to the individual and so long as they come out the otherside in one piece who is to argue it wasnt the right method for them? The fact is you did come out the other side and able to look back - others unfortunately are not so fortunate.

Good Luck, stay strong and eat what you like in moderation !!!!